Sex is weird. Women focus on getting off as fast as possible. Men focus on mental images of basketball and naked pictures of Bea Arthur to avoid getting off too quickly. Now, don't get me wrong. I've had the same sexual partner for a good 5 years, so maybe the little things about sex don't bother me as much as those who are involved with one night stands and/or shorter-term/non-committed relationships. I know there is a huge amount of anxiety from concerns outside of performance such as whether or not your dick will explode once you stick it in or if it will feel like you're pissing battery acid the next day. But regardless of my situation, I'm the kind of person that wants to perform well.

I hear some nightmare stories from some of my women friends about how they've experienced the "One Minute Man" affliction. And you know what? I believe them. Hell, there have been times when I could've been called "30 second man" if I wanted to. But I stick to concentrating on odd, off the wall things like something on the wall or a weird mental image of a baseball card. There are other weird techniques that I'll refrain from sharing. If you have any odd techniques, feel free to leave them in the comments. Share because you care. But yeah, I dont' see how dudes can just hop in, bust, and leave knowing a girl didn't get hers. There are so many underlying consequences such as the chance of a repeat performance being reduced to slim and none, and more importantly the chance that she'd tell other women reducing the chance of a repeat performance with any women within 2 degrees of separation.

I dont' know. Maybe I'm overthinking this because I've never been sexually premiscuous nor have I had a one night stand, but I can't even begin to think what would happen if before I got mine a girl just stopped and walked away. I guess it's what it's like to be a Raiders fan. Get all the way to the end but no payoff and a huge letdown.

Muther Fucker!

...which were exactly my sentiments as I attempted to post and publish a novel-like blog about my weekend in Seattle last night but then inadvertantly ERASING it. Strike one.

Saturday morning I woke up earlier than Jake so I attempted to make breakfast. After a few hours of bullshitting, Jake and I went to the Greyhound bus station in downtown Seattle to wait for Graham. Apparently his bus got held up at the US/Canadian border and would be coming in at 3:00 instead of 1:30. Finding that out, Jake and I walked a few blocks to the mall, grabbed some lunch and came back. No luck. We waited 30 more minutes. No luck. After an hour of waiting, I finally get a call on my phone. It's Graham and that punk ass is waiting at the hotel. Damn Canadians.

Saturday night I went to a wedding my old friend Sophie invited me to. Hung out for a bit. Got free food. And yes, for a second it was akward as hell. I know now what it's like to crash a wedding reception. I'm pathetic.

After the wedding, Graham and I hit up the Freestyle Session pre-party at the Noise Lab just above downtown Seattle on Capitol Hill. It was good stuff. We were in the cypher vibin' to raw Hip Hop beats for a good 3 hours. There was a good 30 minute span in the 4 hours we spent at the Noise Lab where the vibe was just intense. Pure, raw Hip Hop beats and old school Funk and Soul breaks were banging as the b-boys and b-girls rocked it on the floor. Everybody was hyped and jumpin' and it gave me that "I Love Hip Hop" Feeling, a Living Legends so eloquently said in their song "Gift Wrap". Fuck all that bullshit you see on tv and the radio. For a good 30-45 minutes of pure vibin' and rockin' those beats, we were all part of Hip Hop in it's purest form. There was no hate. There was no need for competition. Just about an hour of feeling the music and manifesting those emotions through rythmic movement. THAT is Hip hop.

As Graham and I made our way back to the hotel, we couldn't help but notice how unbelievably quiet it was in downtown Seattle. There weren't even homeless bums roaming the city. It was so quiet, and I for once in my life felt like the most dangerous man on the streets. Seattle is NOTHING like the Bay Area. Fuck what you heard. I can't even walk in my suburban neighborhood here in Vallejo and feel safe.

Sunday and Monday I spent at the Bumbershoot Festival to enjoy the largest US b-boy competition of the year in Freestyle Session Special Edition. Bumbershoot is basically a huge arts festival filled with great food, good music, and tons of white people with dreads. Sprinkle in a few artsy fartsy snooty people and you pretty much have the majority of the Bumbershoot attendees. This year artists like Common, De La Soul, Macy Gray and The Black Eyed Peas made that demo a litte younger, and much more "urban". It easy to say that the majority of the Bumbershoot attendees were far from your mainstream/pop/MTV types who don't like anything even remotely alternative or "underground". But I was amazed at how many non-bboy were interested in b-boying. There were moms, pops and families getting in line to even get a peek at what was going on in the pavillion. It was fun to see them react to the agressiveness of the dancers. It was a weird atmosphere. Oh well.

Monday night, Sophie was kind enough to pick me up from my hotel room and bring me over to her house where where mom barbequed dinner. I have to admit, it was GREAT to have rice for the first time in 3 days. We caught up with each other and talked about each other's lives. It was nice to connect with someone I haven't talked to in such a long time. Around 3AM, we shot over to a 24 hour Starbucks (in SEATTLE no less!!) and ended up getting free drinks because their computers were down. Whoo hoo, free shit.

Tuesday morning Graham and check out of our hotel and foot it around downtown Seattle one last time. We went to Pike Place Market and watched them throw fish around. We also at a great Vietnamese spot with cheap Vietnamese sandwiches. I'm going back there. I STILL can't shake the craving for another one.

While walking around, I decided to call a classmate to tell him that I might not make it to my 6PM class since my flight wouldn't land until 7:30. It was the very first day of class. He told me that if I miss the class, I would risk the chance of being dropped from it. This news pretty much ruined the rest of my day for me. I scrambled to get all my instructor's contact information and used every method possible to contact him. No luck. I rushed to Barne's and Noble and pick up "The Epic of Gilgamesh" and "The Dialogues of Plato" to catch up on reading for a class I'm not sure I'm even going to make it to. With so much to read and so little time, that plane ride went FAST.

When I finally stepped to the baggage claim, I waited around for my stuff. I kept an eye on the door to see if Daphne was there. I have to admit, I have never seen her look so beautiful. I was so happy to see her and all I wanted to do was stay in her arms. She was so comfortable and I was happy to just be around her. I can't wait to marry that woman.

Anywho, I got to class at about 8:30 and the instructor acted as if nothing was wrong. All that stress for nothing.

One Day Down, Three More To Go...

It's my second day here in Seattle and so far is great. Last night Chris, Jake and I went to a bar/poolhall type place and got free drinks from Ray aka TheSneakerPimp,who was bartending. Good atmosphere and stimulating conversation that lasted until 2AM when the place shut down.

Funny story about last night: I asked the waitress for a shot of Hennessy. She came back and mentioned

"Hey, you must have money because that's an expensive drink."

I was like "What do you mean?"

She said "That's a $15 double shot right there."

A $15 shot? A $15 SHOT!?! An entire bottle is just $30 at Costco, and I'm over here paying $15 for a double shot of Henn. Well, being that I didn't even want a double shot, I almost lost it and went off on her. But cooler heads prevailed and I just calmly paid her the money plus a dollar tip. All I could say to Chris and Jake was "Damn, I just got got."

Nonetheless, all was redeemed when we finally found Ray at the other part of the bar and he hooks us up nicely. Big ups to Ray.

So as I type this in an apartment in West Seattle, I can't help but realize that regardless of all the comparisons of Seattle to the Bay Area, Seattle is a very unique location. Now, I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but I'll try to find that conclusion before my vacation is over.

I miss my family. A lot.

The fun and highly addicting online Acronym-based word game Acrophobia is now back online and on Uproar.com. Just when I thought I would finally have the balls to stay away from the Internet during my free time, something keeps pulling me back. A few months ago, it was Friendster, where I got addicted to collecting old friends like kids collect Pokemon cards. Are Pokemon cards even popular anymore? Anyway, now it's Acrophobia and I can't stop playing it. I'm such a damn fucktard. With that said, go register at Uproar.com and join me!

Football season is about to be in full swing and it looks like I'm not going to be caring much. I used to be a huge football fan, even watching games when my 49ers weren't playing. Nowadays, I'll watch games just the same, but the anticipation isn't there. Football just doesn't do it for me. Ah, who am I kidding? I'm just in full on baseball mode. The Giants are whooping the shit out of the rest of the National League West (and Kool Keith's LA "We might as well just hurt oursevles in the begining of the season so we won't play with our fans' emotions" Dodgers) and are looking to take another swipe at the World Series. I will admit though that I am very interested on how the new 49ers coach and the new 49ers offensive strategy will affect the team.

Enough of this sports stuff. I can imagine Jennyeah rolling her eyes saying "Fuck Sports". BTW, I'm up to 600,954.

I head of to Seattle tomorrow morning and it looks like I finally found someone to pick me up from the airport. I like the fact that I really don't have a set itinerary for my holiday weekend. For those that don't know, I'm going to the Bumbershoot Arts Festival in Seattle all by my lonesome. I'm meeting up with a few friends and I'm going to catch the b-boy competition this coming Sunday and Monday at the festival. The rest of my time I intend on relaxing and trying not to spend money all at the same time. I don't know how I'm going to do it, but honestly I would rather just be out and about with the people of Seattle than shopping or spending money anyway.

Leah, the woman you can blame for introducing me to this blog shit, is apparently dying without Internet service and/or her computer. Funny shit. You gotta have a back up plan, girl!!

I have a confession to make. As much as I used to say that I didn't care that nobody reads my shit, I've become a hit-whore. It has resulted in my shamingly shilling my blog on Friendster and other places just to get people to read. It's pathetic. So come one, come all to the blog of mediocrity. Link me! Mention me in your blog. I no longer have the shame of wanting people read my shit because dammit, you need dignity and integrity to be shamed. I have neither of those traits! So, nothing special to see here, but please come back again!

Fucktard Anonymous

I am a fucktard.

Muscle68, tells us a great story about 3 eggs and a swimming pool that in my opinion demonstrates a very underrated character trait: Being able to laugh at yourself. I mean, I'd like to think that I'm a fun guy to be around. I mean, I love dishing out insults and jokes left and right. But I also don't have a problem being the butt of the joke.

We all have those friends. You know, the ones that can dish out the madness but will turn red-faced and mad when the spotlight is on them. There are also those in our circle of friends that are constantly the butt of the jokes, never really mustering enough nerve to tell somebody to "Shut The Fuck Up" or comeback with a witty taunt. What I'm talking about is the ability to find that middle ground. THAT is a rarity these days.

I have the undaunting task of blogging when I realy don't feel like blogging. Oh well. Work is boring and uneventful. Life has been pretty uneventful. Let see if I can pull this one out of my ass.

There are certain misconceptions in our lives that are somewhat shocking when finally discovered. Dennis Richmond, one of the most popular news anchors in the Bay Area for a good portion of the last 15-20 years seemed to be just your average black man. I have a few friends at NikeTown San Francisco who have told me that they have seen him with a same-sex partner, shopping for matching clothes and other things of that nature. I was personally surpised to hear that he takes it up the ass, not that there's anything wrong with that. I'm not so much bothered by the fact that one of the most prominent news anchors in the Bay Area loves smoking cock. I think what bothers me is the fact that he has no choice but to hide who he really is. I mean, on TV he's a masculine man even bordering the limits of being intimidating. Does this image allow him to give the news to the public in a more convincing manner than if he were to act quote-unquote gay?

Unfortunately, it does. I know tons of people who wouldn't even watch the news if they new the guy giving it to them was homosexual. Dennis is working in an industry where image is everything. Perception is everything. And we live in a society that makes preconceived assumptions. Black people will rob you. Jews own the movie industry. Chinese people can't drive. Mexicans beat their wives. It's hard not to be white in White (non-Gay) America.

So I feel for Dennis, not in the cum chugging way, but in a sympathetic manner. He lives a lie on television. He is not who he seems to be. I'm sure he's a great guy and all, but I can't help but to feel sorry for him. We live in a place where it is still hard to be different. It's hard to go against the grain. He just wants to make a living, man. But I know it's eating him up inside.

Whoever Annika Is, She Apparently Beat Me To It....

I hope this is bullshit. I really do. But if it's not, I would like to extend one piece of advice to our 16-year-old Russian kid: Yo. If you want to have a life long career in the porno industry, KEEP THAT SHIT ON YOUR ARM. I mean, you can be the very first person to ever fuck himself in the ass on camera.

Was that over the line? FUCK.

D0NNIEVEGA [12:18 AM]: wtf
D0NNIEVEGA [12:18 AM]: i'd grow one on the base of my spine
D0NNIEVEGA [12:19 AM]: and be the meat in a girl sandwich

muscle6868: im actually fucking jaded and warped

Word.

No Chorus

Jennyeah used to mention Anti every now and then but I never took a look. It wasn't until just two days ago while having an AIM convo w/ Kool Keith that the name was brought up so I finally went to take a look. I have to admit, it's pretty good read. Sometimes I find it hard to get around to read even the people on my "People I Stalk" list, but I think it's time to make another addition.

A good friend Ryan from San Diego has started a blog over at http://muscle68.blogspot.com. Please, take time to check it out. It looks to have the potential of a winner.

So as I sit here at work, I have nothing better to do but mention a somewhat politcal conversation between a few coworkers and myself. The topic stemmed from a comment that one of my coworkers was seriously considering voting for Ah-nold to be the next California Governor. I brought up the point that a huge underlying flaw in our politcal system is the fact that there are now lifelong politicians who do nothing else but run for political offices. I contended that our government is build on the notion that regular working (back then they were of course rich AND white)men would serve their country by holding an office. When their term was over, they would return to regular life as a normal citizen.

What is happening today is that we have people who live their entire lives as politicians, not necessarily doing what is best for the people they serve, but what is best for their careers as politicians. Now, don't get me wrong. I understand that there are exceptions to the rule and there are people in offices that wholeheartedly serve the people that have elected them. So this idea brings me back to our election for Governor here in Cali. I am seriously thinking about voting for Ah-nold as well, not because of where he stands on issues or anything even remotely political. Ah-nold is not a life-long politician. It's not like he's in a position to gain financially. He's a fuckin' movie star. He can go on and make a movie called "Kindergarten Terminator The Barbarian" and it'll make $100 Million. He married a fuckin' Kennedy. This guy wants in and wants to do it well. So why all the skeptics?

People think that the California Gubenatorial race has become a circus since the talk of a recall election even started. Gary "Whatchu Talkin' About, Officer?" Coleman is running. Pornstar Mary Carey is running. But it's California. This is nothing new here. I think the circus has been in town for a good 200 years. Maybe radical changes are in order, no?

This just in.....

Muscle68 is a fuckin' genius.

My Current Shit List

Stuff Magazine, for trying too hard to be funny and not hard enough to be actually worth reading.

Dingy White Tees, for being dingy and much too common amongst the youth of America.

The Asshole Assistant Manager At Safeway, for refusing to double check whether or not the soda I bought was on sale.

The Peppers I Put In My Pho At Lunch Today, for making my asshole burn before I even have to take a dump.

Just Falling Of The List Today...

Vanessa Bryant, Kobe's wife. She was last seen wearing Kobe's left nut on her ring finger justifying her position on the list. Today, I remembered that she was hot. So off the list she goes.....

The Nike Air Force 1, for becoming a cliché and totally being ruined by mainstream success. I was going to leave it on, but then I just realized that it was just a fuckin' shoe.

Fuck A Tribute.

Fuck her for initially rubbing me the wrong way. Fuck her for reeling me in and getting me interested. Fuck her for getting me to think I was somehow her friend. Fuck her for being vunerable. Fuck her for making me care too much. Fuck her for being callous and at times completely unreasonable. Fuck her for the frequent moments of concern I'd have wondering if she was okay. Fuck her and her drugs. Fuck her for making me think that I could somehow help. Fuck her for shutting me out.

Fuck me for letting it all happen.

TGIF

Shit is funny sometimes. I have times during my workday where I have absolutely nothing to do.

"Hey, Joe. Whatcha doin'?"

"Surfing the web waiting for something to break."

I mean, that's what I do here. I wait for something to break. I wait for the printer to jam. I wait for someone's email to get lost. I wait until somebody goes outside to smoke so I can use their lighter. I blog.

It really doesn't get any better than that. Sometimes I chat with Kool Muthafuckin' Keith as we both duck our bosses from actually doing some work. Shit, at least he's being paid. I'm sitting here working for experience. For FREE. I thought they abolished slavery with the Emancipation Proclamation. I guess not. And you know what's even more demented? I actually LIKE working here.

Interesting Personal Trend Of The Month:

I've seen more movies in the past month than I have in the previous two years. Bad Boys 2, then Terminator 3, and most recently S.W.A.T., I am becoming unusually comfortable in a movie theatre. I think I hate it.

On a side note, halfway through watching S.W.A.T. on Friday (during the 3 hour lunch me and a few coworkers took), some idiot pulls the fire alarm and we are forced to exit the theatre until the FD can give the "all clear". Complete chaos/confusion ensued when theatre employees were telling everybody different stories. I was upset because a place like a movie theatre is succeptable to that type of prank, and the employees were completely unprepared. First they all ushered us out. Then they told us to go back and sit down. 20 minutes of walking in and out of the theatre just didn't scream "organization". We just left because we were actually supposed to be at work anyway.

A bowl of Karma soup, anyone?

Luckily enough, I ended up catching the movie again yesterday. It was merely "okay", and I though it ended in an anti-climactic manner.

Cock Dog On A Stick

My friend is driving with his girlfriend in the passenger's seat with me sitting behind her. We're driving down 880 North towards Oakland and I notice that her hand is on his lap as they hold hands. I jokingly say "Hey, hey, hey. None of that shit while I'm in the car." My friend says back "Hey, man. She's trying to grab my cock, dawg."

This is were my mind goes crazy.

"Cock, Dog?.....COCK DOG!.....Is that like a chicken hot dog?......That could work!....We could have "Cock Dog On A Stick" kiosks at every mall across America.....What would the employees at "Cock Dog On A Stick" wear?...And exactly would be in their lemonade at "Cock Dog On A Stick"?.......

That shit is nuts, man. Cock. Dog.

I decided to stay home from work today because

a) I wanted to see my son longer than the 2 minutes I see him awake before I leave for work
b) I stayed up late watching Terminator 3 last night
c) I literally have 1 pair of clean underwear and had to do my laundry

T3 by itself was an average movie at best. As the conclusion to a trilogy, I think T3 was an excellent movie. Although I though it was a little on the short side (a little under 1:45), I loved how it helped weave together all three movies and it even made sense! It wasn't as visually impressive as T2 was at it's time, but the storyline helps me give this a thumbs up.

Thumbs up to Bad Boys 2 as well. But since I'm sure everybody's seen that, I'll leave it at that.

I bit my lip twice in the same spot in 3 days. Someone is either talking tons of shit about me a lot or I have fucked up teeth.

I feel like she wants me to listen. She tells me she wants to talk. When I talk she doesnt' like what I say. Now I miss listening. To anything.

Mousepad Confessions

D0NNIEVEGA [10:09 PM]: have you ever had someone tell you that they were "Going to Explode"?

D0NNIEVEGA [10:10 PM]: that shit is empowering

Last Saturday, I was at Pac Bell Park in San Francisco for "On-field Photo Day" with the San Francisco Giants. Great experience. I got to be up close and personal with a lot of great baseball players and at the same time I did so on one of the greatest fields in baseball history. Here are a few pictures of the day.

It's Onfield Photo Day!!

Admiring The Stadium

Barry Bonds Home Run Tracker

Coke Bottle, Yo

Barry

Best Grass EVER. Seriously. EVER.

Great End To A Great Day

So on the way to the car, who do we see? JEFF GARCIA!

I spent today tearing down a cement/wood fence at the house I grew up at. Being back in Daly City reminds me how "suburban" I've become. The houses were too damn close together. The streets were too damn dirty. The houses were too damn small. The people walking around were too damn urban.

Honestly, I never felt unsafe or out of place. Before my son was born, I always wanted to move back to The City or Daly City and go back to my roots as a City Kid. But I think the desire to live in the city now directly contradicts my desire to raise my son in a good environment. I mean, damn, the suburbs have become pretty damn "urban". I've witnessed gang fights, shootings, attempted rapes and other typically urban activities. So it's not like I'm trying to isolate him in any way. I just want him to be a kid. I want him to have a childhood.

I look at these kids these days, and they have like a 4 year childhood. By the time they're in 4th grade, they're wearing make up and sagging their pants. Where'd the innocence go? Childhood is fleeting as is. I can't understand these parents that force their kids to grow up and "mature" to adults. They commend 4 year old boys for having "girlfriends". Mother's are dressing their little girls like they're accompanying them to the fuckin' club. I hate that shit. Remember playing on the street? Not playing anything in particular, just fuckin' playing. Elementary schools are now replacing jungle gyms and playgrounds with benches so elementary kids can sit around and gossip about who kissed who or who has the biggest ass. And we're talking about 10, 11 year old kids!!

Ahh, fuck. Whatever. I'm going to teach my son the intagibles. Class, respect and compassion. He will have a damn childhood. Kids are being robbed of their childhood and we wonder why they grow up irresponsible and disrespectful.

Anyway, manual labor is a bitch. I've never worked so hard physically in a long time. Fuck cement. Fuck wood. Fuck going to the dump. Fuck seagulls. Fuck eating with dirty hands. And Fuck chocolate mint ice cream while you're at it.