Having money is cool. Jojo and I spent about and hour in "The Store Formerly Known As Structure" yesterday, which is the longest we've spent in there since our high school days. I bought a pair of unusually narrow pants (for me at least) for a mere 10 duckets and a polo for 15, which by Struc-er, I mean, Express Men is a steal.

While shopping, I couldn't help but notice how feminine men's casual wear has become. There were really nice shirts, but they were ruined by some dumbass neckline that threatened to show not only my man-cleavage, but my damn belly button. There were also those oh-so-fruity shirts that tie with a string in the front, as if we were some fuckin' musketeers or some shit. I don't know, man. Maybe it's the "Hip Hop" urban style that keeps me from seeing the fashion value, but that shit looks wack. I mean, I like to dress nice and all, but that trendy-ass Chris Judd look has to fuckin' go. The LAST thing I want to do is look like a dumped J-Lo backup dancer.

Ohh....you want a little thunder?

We met up with a couple friends last night at the Century Theatres in Daly City and caught the opening night of "The Rundown" that starred Stifler, Christopher Walken, Rosario Dawson, and The Rock. I loved the movie and damn, there were great moments throughout. Stifler carried most of the comedy, The Rock provided the action, Rosario Dawson was the eye candy (although I noticed that her nostrils are lopsided as fuck), and Walken was classic fuckin'Walken.

On top of all that, Ernie Reyes Jr., in the first movie role I can recall in a long time, was part of probably one of the best and most creative fight scenes in the movie, hell in ANY movie. Ernie is fuckin' diesel (read: built). Playing a Brazillian rebel, he was pretty damn convincing considering that he's Filipino. I'm glad to see he's still working. He's talented as all hell but unfortunately his "look" forces him into movies like "Turtles In Time".

Countdown to the wedding is 7 days. Vegas, we're comin'. And it's not gonna be nice.

Have a good weekend.

Just hang the fuck up. Notorious Pat just told me that he saw a news story on one of our local news stations about a woman getting hit by a MUNI bus down in the Embarcadero in the 'Sco today. Turns out she was walking while talking on her phone and walked into on-coming traffic and just got blasted by the bus.

Now, I'm sorry. Call me insensitive. Call me an asshole. But dammit, I wish there were stories like this more often. I really dont' give a fuck. Why? Because I encounter maybe 4 near car accidents weekly due to this people who can't seem to pay attention to anything and talk on their cell phone at the same time. I mean, shit. Somebody HAS to tell them, "Hey, you drive like shit when you talk on your cell phone." The sad part REALLY is all the people who would probably do the same but are saying to themselves, "What a dumbass."

And it's not just with drivers. There are always these people walking in the mall who can't seem to WALK right when they're on their phone. COME ON. These have to be the same assholes in their cars. They were the same kids that couldn't jump rope and sing the rhymes at the same time because they'd stop swinging the rope. These are the same people for which the "No blocking fire exits" laws are created for. I mean, fuck. If you can run, you are never blocking a fire exit (thanks Mitch).

Remember this when Leah posted it after I showed her the link?

Well, you can thank me for that AND this

"I got a darkside, like an uneven suntan."

The library can be kind of weird at 10:30 in the morning. So I'm at the library to do some reading and to look for a few books I want to borrow instead of having to buy them. It's pretty early in the day, and I can't help but notice the different type of people that are in a library at the given time. Here are a few of my observations:

The Old Retired Couple- These people have absolutely nothing better to do than go to the library everyday to read. They're old and they're retired, so you know that they've been up for a good 5 hours and wanted to get some reading in before it was time to turn in for the rest of the night. I mean, it IS damn near Noon, you know.

The Group of Mentally Ill Kids- These kids, though seemingly "hadicapped" to the average eye, are the happiest people in the library. Sure, they make make a random moan or scream every now and then breaking the concentration of some or making a few kids giggle, but they are living their lives to their fullest extent, which is more than what we can say about a lot of people. When I was younger, I used to gawk and stare and giggle myself. But these kids have some sort of genuine innocence that is a testiment to their strength as people living with their illness, not drowning in it like some may perceive.

These Muther Fuckers On The Internet Playing Yahoo Spades - How demented are these assholes who come to the library with their library card and use them for free Internet access ALL DAY LONG? They swear that they're getting over by hiding the AIM Express window under their Yahoo Spades window even though there's a little note on the monitor that states "No Internet Chatting or Games". They do nothing productive in the library and they make me fuckin' sick.

The Grandpa and The Rowdy Ass 3-year-old- Grandpa gets a great idea: "Let me take my rowdy ass grandson to the library while I read." What he doesn't realize is that he'll spend more time trying to calm his son down than he will holding a fuckin' book. And why can't the kid shut the fuck up? "Hey Grandpa! Hey Grandpa!" What the fuck, don't bring him into the adult section of the library when you know there's a little kid's section.

Those Fucking Teenagers- Can these mutherfuckers shut the fuck up? Every little thing is funny and they are giggling their mutherfuckin' asses off. Those fuckin' teenagers can whisper louder than I can shout and while they do come to the library with the intention of studying, once more than 3 of them gather, you can throw all that shit out of the window. They sometimes even have long ass conversations on their cell phone. IN THE FUCKING LIBRARY. I swear to gawd, parents need to talk some fuckin' sense into these kids. Because dammit, I am becoming less and less patient and have absolutely no problem telling someone to shut the fuck up.

The Random College Kid- (Read: Me.) They sit down and open their bags and unload about 50 books and look up every single time something disturbing happens. I see these kids as the "easily disturbed". I mean, if I spent all day working and/or going to school, the last place I'd want to study is at a fuckin library. But as a lot of us "easily distracted" kids know that there is the TV, the computer and the phone at home, and we can't get anything done with any of that stuff around. So instead, we head over to the library to be subjected to all of the above. What the hell is wrong with these people?

Well, there are others, but you know the deal. Weirdo old-as-dirt librarian. Homeless guy. Magazine Whores. And the best of all, the DVD/Movie people. But you know the story.

I always get that feeling. You know, that feeling. The feeling you get when you're all ready to eat and you realize that there isn't rice in the rice cooker. The feeling when you sit down on the toilet, drop a load, and realize that there is not a square of toilet paper within 20 yards of you. It's also the feeling when you're doing the "duck-walk" to the closest bathroom hoping you don't mess yourself in a quest for toilet paper. Remember the last time you forgot you had no cash and went to a shop that doesn't accept check or credit card? That's the feeling. Or how about the time when you were talking shit about someone and that someone just happened to walk into the room? It's that feeling.

Now, let's face it. We all get these feelings. The feeling of looking through the Sunday newspaper adverts and finding something on sale you just bought two weeks ago $40 more than it's current price. Ever wake up in the middle of the night and bump your head on the wall or your nightstand? It's that feeling. That same feeling when you get crapped on by a seagull, or when you accidentally let out a Hershey squirt instead of the fart you thought was coming out. It just like that feeling you get when you walk into the bathroom to brush your teeth and you step in a wet spot, ruining a fresh clean pair of socks. How about that feeling when you put in a load of clothes into the washing machine and you forget to put in soap, but you don't realize it until AFTER you dry the clothes and still smell the funk? Can you relate to that?

Okay, maybe some of these are off the wall. But these things happen to me all the time. And I can't help but laugh at myself. It's funny. I'm funny. Life is funny. And if you can't laugh at yourself sometimes, maybe you're just an asshole.

Okay, so who are these mutherfuckers that still haven't seen "Scare Tactics" on the Sci Fi Channel?

It's okay, you can come out of the closet and admit it. Yeah. Admit it. Admit that you were too busy watching Ashton Kutcher and his "Punk'd". Fuck Punk'd. I'd punch Ashton in the grill just for fuckin' Demi Moore. That's Bruce's pussy, Ashton, whether you want to believe it or not. You're in for your own "Punk'd". You just wait. Just wait 'till when you think you're gettin' some from Demi one night, and then Bruce jumps out of the closet, sticks his dick in your ass and yells "You've just been Punk'd". But wait, I'm digressing.

Anyways, "Scare Tactics". Hosted by your favorite 9021-ho, Shannen Doherty, who hasn't looked this attractive since Dylan was ready to break Brenda's hymen after their prom. I have to admit, they do go a little over the top withsome of the acting, but the actual pranks are far more elaborate and believable than your Punk'd or even "Girl's Behaving Badly" if you like your Razmatazz with a Femme boost. Good stuff, I suggest checking it out.

Check your local listings or the Scare Tactics link above.

I need money. With the wedding coming up in about 3 weeks that so happens to coincide with my very first trip to Las Vegas, I have come to the conclusion that I'm going to have to raise some funds of my own to allow both Daphne and I to enjoy this trip the way we want to. I've already auctioned off a bunch of my jerseys and unneeded clothing to just help myself stay afloat as I put in work at this non-paying internship I've been at for the past 2 months. Now it's time for me to get serious. I need a lot of money and soon. So now what?

I'm going for the shoes.

For a long time, I couldn't even think about selling my shoes. I used to buy shoes all the time. When I worked at Foot Locker, I always had about 4 pairs of shoes on hold and I always bought at least one pair every pay period. The discount was like crack. If it was cheap, I'd buy it. Even if it wasn't cheap, I'd buy it. The worst thing is that I would hardly wear them. Whenever you have more than 10 pairs of shoes, you will only wear half of them in a month.

What makes it worse is the space they take up.I have them everywhere. Under my bed. In my closet. In Daphne's closet. In the living room closet. All over the floor. All over the hallway outside of my room. Just everywhere. And it carried over to both Daphne and Jayden. Now they have tons of shoes too. So our house is just a big ass shoe wherehouse.

Now I'm going to do everybody a favor and get rid of them.

I don't masturbate as much as I used to. One thing that bothers me about masturbation is how much guilt is associated with it. Way back when I first started beating my meat, I used to feel dirty and guilty after the act. This feeling of dirtiness would force me to take a shower, not only to literally clean myself up, but to "wash" myself of the guilt. As I moved on into the later stages of being a teen, I began to think about the concept of Karma. I'm a firm believer in Karma, and that a good deed will result in good fortune and a bad deed will result in ill fortune.

Since choking your chicken is generally looked upon as a negative thing, I began seeing negative events that have possibly resulted by me stroking my salami. I'd have a date with Palmala and her five sisters, then later in the day, I would get a speeding ticket. I'd strain my main vein, then I'd forget to do my homework that night. It was odd correlations such as those that would force me to not jerk off at crucial times in my life such as the night before a big test, or before going to a job interview. Weird shit.

Now don't get me wrong. I still think that spanking your monkey is normal and healthly. Hell, they should teach that shit at school. Think of how many teens would be more relaxed at schools, or how less high school girls would get pregnant. Think how many guys wouldn't be so sexually agressive if they would just shake their snake before a first or second date. But no, there's still that taboo factor. Everybody does it but nobody talks about it. There are tons of benefits to it and nobody wants to acknowledge them.

But now I can just imagine all the people reading this and saying, "But Joe. Aren't you engaged? Don't you have a steady sex partner?" And yeah, you guys are right. I do. But as many of you will learn, the combination of school, job and kids will basically murder your sex lives. As much as you want to do the horizontal Mambo with your significant other, sometimes it's just not fesable. Schedules confict. Somebody is too tired. One person is horny but the other isn't. I mean, believe me. When we fuck, we fuck. But trying to time your horniness to coincide with your wifey is damn near impossible. Especially when the sliding windows of opportunity are far and few between. So you take your schlong to the massage parlor.

So with that in mind, think about all those times as a child sitting at home, all by yourself with your sister and/or brother. Remember when your parents would come home unusually late? You'd be thinking they went to the grocery store or maybe Price Club or the mall, but for some reason they wouldn't come home with anything. Well, I hate to break it to you, but they were fucking. Somewhere, somehow. You were born and had subsequently fucked up their sex life, so they were forced to take it elsewhere. Maybe it was the Alpha Beta parking lot behind the dumpster. Maybe it was at a cheap hourly motel. Or hell, maybe your mom gave your dad head in the garage! Either way, they were fuckin', and you didnt' even know.

Sex is weird. Women focus on getting off as fast as possible. Men focus on mental images of basketball and naked pictures of Bea Arthur to avoid getting off too quickly. Now, don't get me wrong. I've had the same sexual partner for a good 5 years, so maybe the little things about sex don't bother me as much as those who are involved with one night stands and/or shorter-term/non-committed relationships. I know there is a huge amount of anxiety from concerns outside of performance such as whether or not your dick will explode once you stick it in or if it will feel like you're pissing battery acid the next day. But regardless of my situation, I'm the kind of person that wants to perform well.

I hear some nightmare stories from some of my women friends about how they've experienced the "One Minute Man" affliction. And you know what? I believe them. Hell, there have been times when I could've been called "30 second man" if I wanted to. But I stick to concentrating on odd, off the wall things like something on the wall or a weird mental image of a baseball card. There are other weird techniques that I'll refrain from sharing. If you have any odd techniques, feel free to leave them in the comments. Share because you care. But yeah, I dont' see how dudes can just hop in, bust, and leave knowing a girl didn't get hers. There are so many underlying consequences such as the chance of a repeat performance being reduced to slim and none, and more importantly the chance that she'd tell other women reducing the chance of a repeat performance with any women within 2 degrees of separation.

I dont' know. Maybe I'm overthinking this because I've never been sexually premiscuous nor have I had a one night stand, but I can't even begin to think what would happen if before I got mine a girl just stopped and walked away. I guess it's what it's like to be a Raiders fan. Get all the way to the end but no payoff and a huge letdown.

Muther Fucker!

...which were exactly my sentiments as I attempted to post and publish a novel-like blog about my weekend in Seattle last night but then inadvertantly ERASING it. Strike one.

Saturday morning I woke up earlier than Jake so I attempted to make breakfast. After a few hours of bullshitting, Jake and I went to the Greyhound bus station in downtown Seattle to wait for Graham. Apparently his bus got held up at the US/Canadian border and would be coming in at 3:00 instead of 1:30. Finding that out, Jake and I walked a few blocks to the mall, grabbed some lunch and came back. No luck. We waited 30 more minutes. No luck. After an hour of waiting, I finally get a call on my phone. It's Graham and that punk ass is waiting at the hotel. Damn Canadians.

Saturday night I went to a wedding my old friend Sophie invited me to. Hung out for a bit. Got free food. And yes, for a second it was akward as hell. I know now what it's like to crash a wedding reception. I'm pathetic.

After the wedding, Graham and I hit up the Freestyle Session pre-party at the Noise Lab just above downtown Seattle on Capitol Hill. It was good stuff. We were in the cypher vibin' to raw Hip Hop beats for a good 3 hours. There was a good 30 minute span in the 4 hours we spent at the Noise Lab where the vibe was just intense. Pure, raw Hip Hop beats and old school Funk and Soul breaks were banging as the b-boys and b-girls rocked it on the floor. Everybody was hyped and jumpin' and it gave me that "I Love Hip Hop" Feeling, a Living Legends so eloquently said in their song "Gift Wrap". Fuck all that bullshit you see on tv and the radio. For a good 30-45 minutes of pure vibin' and rockin' those beats, we were all part of Hip Hop in it's purest form. There was no hate. There was no need for competition. Just about an hour of feeling the music and manifesting those emotions through rythmic movement. THAT is Hip hop.

As Graham and I made our way back to the hotel, we couldn't help but notice how unbelievably quiet it was in downtown Seattle. There weren't even homeless bums roaming the city. It was so quiet, and I for once in my life felt like the most dangerous man on the streets. Seattle is NOTHING like the Bay Area. Fuck what you heard. I can't even walk in my suburban neighborhood here in Vallejo and feel safe.

Sunday and Monday I spent at the Bumbershoot Festival to enjoy the largest US b-boy competition of the year in Freestyle Session Special Edition. Bumbershoot is basically a huge arts festival filled with great food, good music, and tons of white people with dreads. Sprinkle in a few artsy fartsy snooty people and you pretty much have the majority of the Bumbershoot attendees. This year artists like Common, De La Soul, Macy Gray and The Black Eyed Peas made that demo a litte younger, and much more "urban". It easy to say that the majority of the Bumbershoot attendees were far from your mainstream/pop/MTV types who don't like anything even remotely alternative or "underground". But I was amazed at how many non-bboy were interested in b-boying. There were moms, pops and families getting in line to even get a peek at what was going on in the pavillion. It was fun to see them react to the agressiveness of the dancers. It was a weird atmosphere. Oh well.

Monday night, Sophie was kind enough to pick me up from my hotel room and bring me over to her house where where mom barbequed dinner. I have to admit, it was GREAT to have rice for the first time in 3 days. We caught up with each other and talked about each other's lives. It was nice to connect with someone I haven't talked to in such a long time. Around 3AM, we shot over to a 24 hour Starbucks (in SEATTLE no less!!) and ended up getting free drinks because their computers were down. Whoo hoo, free shit.

Tuesday morning Graham and check out of our hotel and foot it around downtown Seattle one last time. We went to Pike Place Market and watched them throw fish around. We also at a great Vietnamese spot with cheap Vietnamese sandwiches. I'm going back there. I STILL can't shake the craving for another one.

While walking around, I decided to call a classmate to tell him that I might not make it to my 6PM class since my flight wouldn't land until 7:30. It was the very first day of class. He told me that if I miss the class, I would risk the chance of being dropped from it. This news pretty much ruined the rest of my day for me. I scrambled to get all my instructor's contact information and used every method possible to contact him. No luck. I rushed to Barne's and Noble and pick up "The Epic of Gilgamesh" and "The Dialogues of Plato" to catch up on reading for a class I'm not sure I'm even going to make it to. With so much to read and so little time, that plane ride went FAST.

When I finally stepped to the baggage claim, I waited around for my stuff. I kept an eye on the door to see if Daphne was there. I have to admit, I have never seen her look so beautiful. I was so happy to see her and all I wanted to do was stay in her arms. She was so comfortable and I was happy to just be around her. I can't wait to marry that woman.

Anywho, I got to class at about 8:30 and the instructor acted as if nothing was wrong. All that stress for nothing.

One Day Down, Three More To Go...

It's my second day here in Seattle and so far is great. Last night Chris, Jake and I went to a bar/poolhall type place and got free drinks from Ray aka TheSneakerPimp,who was bartending. Good atmosphere and stimulating conversation that lasted until 2AM when the place shut down.

Funny story about last night: I asked the waitress for a shot of Hennessy. She came back and mentioned

"Hey, you must have money because that's an expensive drink."

I was like "What do you mean?"

She said "That's a $15 double shot right there."

A $15 shot? A $15 SHOT!?! An entire bottle is just $30 at Costco, and I'm over here paying $15 for a double shot of Henn. Well, being that I didn't even want a double shot, I almost lost it and went off on her. But cooler heads prevailed and I just calmly paid her the money plus a dollar tip. All I could say to Chris and Jake was "Damn, I just got got."

Nonetheless, all was redeemed when we finally found Ray at the other part of the bar and he hooks us up nicely. Big ups to Ray.

So as I type this in an apartment in West Seattle, I can't help but realize that regardless of all the comparisons of Seattle to the Bay Area, Seattle is a very unique location. Now, I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but I'll try to find that conclusion before my vacation is over.

I miss my family. A lot.

The fun and highly addicting online Acronym-based word game Acrophobia is now back online and on Uproar.com. Just when I thought I would finally have the balls to stay away from the Internet during my free time, something keeps pulling me back. A few months ago, it was Friendster, where I got addicted to collecting old friends like kids collect Pokemon cards. Are Pokemon cards even popular anymore? Anyway, now it's Acrophobia and I can't stop playing it. I'm such a damn fucktard. With that said, go register at Uproar.com and join me!

Football season is about to be in full swing and it looks like I'm not going to be caring much. I used to be a huge football fan, even watching games when my 49ers weren't playing. Nowadays, I'll watch games just the same, but the anticipation isn't there. Football just doesn't do it for me. Ah, who am I kidding? I'm just in full on baseball mode. The Giants are whooping the shit out of the rest of the National League West (and Kool Keith's LA "We might as well just hurt oursevles in the begining of the season so we won't play with our fans' emotions" Dodgers) and are looking to take another swipe at the World Series. I will admit though that I am very interested on how the new 49ers coach and the new 49ers offensive strategy will affect the team.

Enough of this sports stuff. I can imagine Jennyeah rolling her eyes saying "Fuck Sports". BTW, I'm up to 600,954.

I head of to Seattle tomorrow morning and it looks like I finally found someone to pick me up from the airport. I like the fact that I really don't have a set itinerary for my holiday weekend. For those that don't know, I'm going to the Bumbershoot Arts Festival in Seattle all by my lonesome. I'm meeting up with a few friends and I'm going to catch the b-boy competition this coming Sunday and Monday at the festival. The rest of my time I intend on relaxing and trying not to spend money all at the same time. I don't know how I'm going to do it, but honestly I would rather just be out and about with the people of Seattle than shopping or spending money anyway.

Leah, the woman you can blame for introducing me to this blog shit, is apparently dying without Internet service and/or her computer. Funny shit. You gotta have a back up plan, girl!!

I have a confession to make. As much as I used to say that I didn't care that nobody reads my shit, I've become a hit-whore. It has resulted in my shamingly shilling my blog on Friendster and other places just to get people to read. It's pathetic. So come one, come all to the blog of mediocrity. Link me! Mention me in your blog. I no longer have the shame of wanting people read my shit because dammit, you need dignity and integrity to be shamed. I have neither of those traits! So, nothing special to see here, but please come back again!

Fucktard Anonymous

I am a fucktard.

Muscle68, tells us a great story about 3 eggs and a swimming pool that in my opinion demonstrates a very underrated character trait: Being able to laugh at yourself. I mean, I'd like to think that I'm a fun guy to be around. I mean, I love dishing out insults and jokes left and right. But I also don't have a problem being the butt of the joke.

We all have those friends. You know, the ones that can dish out the madness but will turn red-faced and mad when the spotlight is on them. There are also those in our circle of friends that are constantly the butt of the jokes, never really mustering enough nerve to tell somebody to "Shut The Fuck Up" or comeback with a witty taunt. What I'm talking about is the ability to find that middle ground. THAT is a rarity these days.

I have the undaunting task of blogging when I realy don't feel like blogging. Oh well. Work is boring and uneventful. Life has been pretty uneventful. Let see if I can pull this one out of my ass.

There are certain misconceptions in our lives that are somewhat shocking when finally discovered. Dennis Richmond, one of the most popular news anchors in the Bay Area for a good portion of the last 15-20 years seemed to be just your average black man. I have a few friends at NikeTown San Francisco who have told me that they have seen him with a same-sex partner, shopping for matching clothes and other things of that nature. I was personally surpised to hear that he takes it up the ass, not that there's anything wrong with that. I'm not so much bothered by the fact that one of the most prominent news anchors in the Bay Area loves smoking cock. I think what bothers me is the fact that he has no choice but to hide who he really is. I mean, on TV he's a masculine man even bordering the limits of being intimidating. Does this image allow him to give the news to the public in a more convincing manner than if he were to act quote-unquote gay?

Unfortunately, it does. I know tons of people who wouldn't even watch the news if they new the guy giving it to them was homosexual. Dennis is working in an industry where image is everything. Perception is everything. And we live in a society that makes preconceived assumptions. Black people will rob you. Jews own the movie industry. Chinese people can't drive. Mexicans beat their wives. It's hard not to be white in White (non-Gay) America.

So I feel for Dennis, not in the cum chugging way, but in a sympathetic manner. He lives a lie on television. He is not who he seems to be. I'm sure he's a great guy and all, but I can't help but to feel sorry for him. We live in a place where it is still hard to be different. It's hard to go against the grain. He just wants to make a living, man. But I know it's eating him up inside.

Whoever Annika Is, She Apparently Beat Me To It....

I hope this is bullshit. I really do. But if it's not, I would like to extend one piece of advice to our 16-year-old Russian kid: Yo. If you want to have a life long career in the porno industry, KEEP THAT SHIT ON YOUR ARM. I mean, you can be the very first person to ever fuck himself in the ass on camera.

Was that over the line? FUCK.

D0NNIEVEGA [12:18 AM]: wtf
D0NNIEVEGA [12:18 AM]: i'd grow one on the base of my spine
D0NNIEVEGA [12:19 AM]: and be the meat in a girl sandwich

muscle6868: im actually fucking jaded and warped

Word.

No Chorus

Jennyeah used to mention Anti every now and then but I never took a look. It wasn't until just two days ago while having an AIM convo w/ Kool Keith that the name was brought up so I finally went to take a look. I have to admit, it's pretty good read. Sometimes I find it hard to get around to read even the people on my "People I Stalk" list, but I think it's time to make another addition.

A good friend Ryan from San Diego has started a blog over at http://muscle68.blogspot.com. Please, take time to check it out. It looks to have the potential of a winner.

So as I sit here at work, I have nothing better to do but mention a somewhat politcal conversation between a few coworkers and myself. The topic stemmed from a comment that one of my coworkers was seriously considering voting for Ah-nold to be the next California Governor. I brought up the point that a huge underlying flaw in our politcal system is the fact that there are now lifelong politicians who do nothing else but run for political offices. I contended that our government is build on the notion that regular working (back then they were of course rich AND white)men would serve their country by holding an office. When their term was over, they would return to regular life as a normal citizen.

What is happening today is that we have people who live their entire lives as politicians, not necessarily doing what is best for the people they serve, but what is best for their careers as politicians. Now, don't get me wrong. I understand that there are exceptions to the rule and there are people in offices that wholeheartedly serve the people that have elected them. So this idea brings me back to our election for Governor here in Cali. I am seriously thinking about voting for Ah-nold as well, not because of where he stands on issues or anything even remotely political. Ah-nold is not a life-long politician. It's not like he's in a position to gain financially. He's a fuckin' movie star. He can go on and make a movie called "Kindergarten Terminator The Barbarian" and it'll make $100 Million. He married a fuckin' Kennedy. This guy wants in and wants to do it well. So why all the skeptics?

People think that the California Gubenatorial race has become a circus since the talk of a recall election even started. Gary "Whatchu Talkin' About, Officer?" Coleman is running. Pornstar Mary Carey is running. But it's California. This is nothing new here. I think the circus has been in town for a good 200 years. Maybe radical changes are in order, no?

This just in.....

Muscle68 is a fuckin' genius.

My Current Shit List

Stuff Magazine, for trying too hard to be funny and not hard enough to be actually worth reading.

Dingy White Tees, for being dingy and much too common amongst the youth of America.

The Asshole Assistant Manager At Safeway, for refusing to double check whether or not the soda I bought was on sale.

The Peppers I Put In My Pho At Lunch Today, for making my asshole burn before I even have to take a dump.

Just Falling Of The List Today...

Vanessa Bryant, Kobe's wife. She was last seen wearing Kobe's left nut on her ring finger justifying her position on the list. Today, I remembered that she was hot. So off the list she goes.....

The Nike Air Force 1, for becoming a cliché and totally being ruined by mainstream success. I was going to leave it on, but then I just realized that it was just a fuckin' shoe.

Fuck A Tribute.

Fuck her for initially rubbing me the wrong way. Fuck her for reeling me in and getting me interested. Fuck her for getting me to think I was somehow her friend. Fuck her for being vunerable. Fuck her for making me care too much. Fuck her for being callous and at times completely unreasonable. Fuck her for the frequent moments of concern I'd have wondering if she was okay. Fuck her and her drugs. Fuck her for making me think that I could somehow help. Fuck her for shutting me out.

Fuck me for letting it all happen.

TGIF

Shit is funny sometimes. I have times during my workday where I have absolutely nothing to do.

"Hey, Joe. Whatcha doin'?"

"Surfing the web waiting for something to break."

I mean, that's what I do here. I wait for something to break. I wait for the printer to jam. I wait for someone's email to get lost. I wait until somebody goes outside to smoke so I can use their lighter. I blog.

It really doesn't get any better than that. Sometimes I chat with Kool Muthafuckin' Keith as we both duck our bosses from actually doing some work. Shit, at least he's being paid. I'm sitting here working for experience. For FREE. I thought they abolished slavery with the Emancipation Proclamation. I guess not. And you know what's even more demented? I actually LIKE working here.

Interesting Personal Trend Of The Month:

I've seen more movies in the past month than I have in the previous two years. Bad Boys 2, then Terminator 3, and most recently S.W.A.T., I am becoming unusually comfortable in a movie theatre. I think I hate it.

On a side note, halfway through watching S.W.A.T. on Friday (during the 3 hour lunch me and a few coworkers took), some idiot pulls the fire alarm and we are forced to exit the theatre until the FD can give the "all clear". Complete chaos/confusion ensued when theatre employees were telling everybody different stories. I was upset because a place like a movie theatre is succeptable to that type of prank, and the employees were completely unprepared. First they all ushered us out. Then they told us to go back and sit down. 20 minutes of walking in and out of the theatre just didn't scream "organization". We just left because we were actually supposed to be at work anyway.

A bowl of Karma soup, anyone?

Luckily enough, I ended up catching the movie again yesterday. It was merely "okay", and I though it ended in an anti-climactic manner.

Cock Dog On A Stick

My friend is driving with his girlfriend in the passenger's seat with me sitting behind her. We're driving down 880 North towards Oakland and I notice that her hand is on his lap as they hold hands. I jokingly say "Hey, hey, hey. None of that shit while I'm in the car." My friend says back "Hey, man. She's trying to grab my cock, dawg."

This is were my mind goes crazy.

"Cock, Dog?.....COCK DOG!.....Is that like a chicken hot dog?......That could work!....We could have "Cock Dog On A Stick" kiosks at every mall across America.....What would the employees at "Cock Dog On A Stick" wear?...And exactly would be in their lemonade at "Cock Dog On A Stick"?.......

That shit is nuts, man. Cock. Dog.

I decided to stay home from work today because

a) I wanted to see my son longer than the 2 minutes I see him awake before I leave for work
b) I stayed up late watching Terminator 3 last night
c) I literally have 1 pair of clean underwear and had to do my laundry

T3 by itself was an average movie at best. As the conclusion to a trilogy, I think T3 was an excellent movie. Although I though it was a little on the short side (a little under 1:45), I loved how it helped weave together all three movies and it even made sense! It wasn't as visually impressive as T2 was at it's time, but the storyline helps me give this a thumbs up.

Thumbs up to Bad Boys 2 as well. But since I'm sure everybody's seen that, I'll leave it at that.

I bit my lip twice in the same spot in 3 days. Someone is either talking tons of shit about me a lot or I have fucked up teeth.

I feel like she wants me to listen. She tells me she wants to talk. When I talk she doesnt' like what I say. Now I miss listening. To anything.

Mousepad Confessions

D0NNIEVEGA [10:09 PM]: have you ever had someone tell you that they were "Going to Explode"?

D0NNIEVEGA [10:10 PM]: that shit is empowering

Last Saturday, I was at Pac Bell Park in San Francisco for "On-field Photo Day" with the San Francisco Giants. Great experience. I got to be up close and personal with a lot of great baseball players and at the same time I did so on one of the greatest fields in baseball history. Here are a few pictures of the day.

It's Onfield Photo Day!!

Admiring The Stadium

Barry Bonds Home Run Tracker

Coke Bottle, Yo

Barry

Best Grass EVER. Seriously. EVER.

Great End To A Great Day

So on the way to the car, who do we see? JEFF GARCIA!

I spent today tearing down a cement/wood fence at the house I grew up at. Being back in Daly City reminds me how "suburban" I've become. The houses were too damn close together. The streets were too damn dirty. The houses were too damn small. The people walking around were too damn urban.

Honestly, I never felt unsafe or out of place. Before my son was born, I always wanted to move back to The City or Daly City and go back to my roots as a City Kid. But I think the desire to live in the city now directly contradicts my desire to raise my son in a good environment. I mean, damn, the suburbs have become pretty damn "urban". I've witnessed gang fights, shootings, attempted rapes and other typically urban activities. So it's not like I'm trying to isolate him in any way. I just want him to be a kid. I want him to have a childhood.

I look at these kids these days, and they have like a 4 year childhood. By the time they're in 4th grade, they're wearing make up and sagging their pants. Where'd the innocence go? Childhood is fleeting as is. I can't understand these parents that force their kids to grow up and "mature" to adults. They commend 4 year old boys for having "girlfriends". Mother's are dressing their little girls like they're accompanying them to the fuckin' club. I hate that shit. Remember playing on the street? Not playing anything in particular, just fuckin' playing. Elementary schools are now replacing jungle gyms and playgrounds with benches so elementary kids can sit around and gossip about who kissed who or who has the biggest ass. And we're talking about 10, 11 year old kids!!

Ahh, fuck. Whatever. I'm going to teach my son the intagibles. Class, respect and compassion. He will have a damn childhood. Kids are being robbed of their childhood and we wonder why they grow up irresponsible and disrespectful.

Anyway, manual labor is a bitch. I've never worked so hard physically in a long time. Fuck cement. Fuck wood. Fuck going to the dump. Fuck seagulls. Fuck eating with dirty hands. And Fuck chocolate mint ice cream while you're at it.

The "What The Fuck?" List

Those lights on the hoods of cars where the windshield fluid comes out.

Huge white T-Shirts within 1 inch of the knees in length.

Gucci, Louis Vuitton or any type of trendy overpriced material on customized sneakers or clothing.

Talking on cellphones at the movie theatre.

Crystal Pepsi

Oliver on "The Brady Bunch"

The Ballsy Truth

During a field trip to the zoo in 7th grade, a group of friends and I couldn't help but laugh uncontrolably when we walked up to the exhibit of the blue-scrotumed monkey. Almost with perfect comedic timing, my algebra teacher commented "Your balls would be blue too if you sat on rocks all day."

Classic.

Me

Life is nothing more than a series of detours. Growing up in a middle class family with parents who have lived in the worst of a 3rd world country, the path to academic and career success was always laid out for me. My parents constantly drilled into my head that there was only one way to be happy and succeed in life: graduate from high school so I can go to an excellent university and start a career before starting a family. It wasn’t just one of many paths to success. It was the only acceptable path in my parents’ eyes. So I went along with it and went on to attend the University of California at Davis to continue on my path to success. Unfortunately, my I came upon one of many detours on this path to success, which was my academic disqualification from the University.

The day I received the notice from the University of California that I had been academically disqualified from attending school at their Davis campus was the first detour I encountered on my way to happiness and success. Up until that time I was just going with the flow. Life before that day was simple. Before my stint at Davis, I overachieved academically and athletically with little or no effort. I had always been a prodigy and words like “potential” and “promising” were always used to describe me by both my parents and instructors. As a teenage athlete, I was blessed with a lot of talent that took me to the highest levels of play for my age. Succeeding came easy. That was though, before I finally started attending college.

Coming out of high school, I was not even ready for college. I was living on values I developed in high school. Things like being popular and instant gratification took precedence over academics and responsibility. I had the grades to get into an excellent university, so I almost felt as if everything would take care of itself. I didn’t even arrange my classes for the first quarter of my freshman year until one month before classes started, almost 2 months after all of my friends. I spend most of my time outside of class socializing and partying. The values I held in high school carried over to college, and my grades suffered because of it. Even after my first quarter of university education and flunking two of my three classes, the flaws in my approach to education went on unnoticed. I had other priorities at the time. I spent time coaching volleyball at my former high school and the local junior high school. I had a girlfriend that went to school 100 miles away in San Francisco and spent more time driving to and from San Francisco than I did studying. Everything that was conducive to my education was neglected and I was slowly veering off course. Little did I know about the huge roadblock I would encounter on this road to success just on the horizon.

I was so blind to that fact that even after my 3 quarter of being in academic probation with the university, my disqualification still came as a surprise. I was in complete disbelief and refused to take responsibility for my actions. I found ever excuse to explain to my parents why this happened. I pointed my finger to them for not allowing me to live in Davis and forcing me to commute an hour to and an hour from school. I was mad at them because I was forced to work to make extra spending money. I complained about all this and never once acknowledged the $7000 my parents saved up for my college education that I happen to waste on eating out and buying clothes instead of tuition and books. My father even gave me $10 every day for gas and lunch. But still, it was their fault. I never once looked at myself and held myself accountable for my actions. I didn’t see that I am ultimately responsible for my actions and that my screwed up priorities were to blame. The disqualification letter came and plopped itself directly in the center of my road to success. I was crushed and disoriented. I had no idea what I was going to do with my life. There was, though, a change in road conditions in the near future.

At the time the only “silver lining” I could see in my disqualification from UC Davis was that my friends and I went ahead and signed a lease for an apartment in Davis during our Spring semester, so instead of staying at home with my parents who couldn’t pass up any opportunity to remind me how I blew it at UCD, I could finally be on my own to live my own life. I was tired of having to answer to my parents and I couldn’t wait to live on my own for the first time. So I packed up all my belongings and moved to Davis. When we first moved in, my roommates and I were overwhelmed by the unbelievable amount of freedom we had. I enjoyed each day by doing everything that wasn’t seen as acceptable when living at home. The move away from home seemed like an opportunity to start all over. It was like I was given a new windshield for my car that accumulated dirt and bugs on the rough road to success.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t prepared for the responsibilities of living on my own. The skill of money management still avoided me and I struggled to make rent on a monthly basis. At the time, I was working at the Foot Locker at a local mall for a shade over minimum wage and barely had enough to cover all my expenses. I had a new girlfriend I depended on credit cards to buy what we needed and a lot of the time I used my credit cards to buy what we didn’t need. The lack of money management skills and expense accounting eventually led to my seemingly insurmountable credit card debt. On top of that, the freedom that I experienced also led me to continue blowing off my education. I was attending classes at a junior college, not taking the classes that I needed to get back to a four-year university but classes I thought would be easy to complete. I was stopped on my road to success.

Although I did have successful semesters at the junior college, I switched my major two times from physics to psychology and on to speech. I obviously did not learn for my past mistakes and it didn’t seem like I’d find myself back in the same direction.
After about 6 months of living away from home another change of lifestyle came around when my girlfriend was kicked out of her house. Having no place to stay, she moved up to Davis with me and my roommates. We were two people in our late teens still struggling to find out who we were. We had constant arguments and I understood that it wasn’t because we had lost feelings for each other, but that we didn’t know how to compromise and empathize with each other. I can remember wanting to runaway from our problems and even kicking her out of the apartment on two occasions. I thought back then that it was because we were no longer incompatible and that living together had showed us that. But it had less to do with our feelings for each other and more about how we perceived each other as individuals. We saw ourselves as an inseparable couple and not as two individuals who are different yet complement each other’s shortcomings. I couldn’t recognize this and we crashed and burned I look back and I understand that we learned the hard way about understanding our relationship. Little did we know that we had a larger roadblock ahead of us that would change our lives. We learned that she was pregnant.

I can remember vividly the day I decided that we would not have an abortion and go ahead and have the baby. It was odd, because for the first time without the help of anybody but myself, I decided to be accountable for our actions and take responsibility for this baby we created. I came upon another detour on my road to success and I decided to take it. I know that at the time I didn’t fully understand the responsibility I was taking on in being a father, but I made the decision that I felt was right for my future. For the first time, I didn’t look to anyone but myself to determine what was good for me. It was also the first decision I made that wasn’t selfish and based on instant gratification like my decision to move out of my house and numerous less important decisions before it. I understood that I was young and ill equipped for fatherhood and that it takes a lot of effort and hard work to make our family work.

My son was born in July of 2000 and I was so grateful that he was healthy. The first few days being home with my son and his mom was pretty easy because my girlfriend’s mom took time off of work to help us out. After she went back to work, there was a period where I began to really doubt if I had what it took to be a father. There would be nights after work where I would stay up to 6 in the morning taking care of my son so his mom could get a full night’s worth of sleep. During those nights I would get this feeling that I got myself into something I couldn’t get out of. I was responsible for another person’s life. It was a responsibility that my 20-year-old self didn’t think I could handle. I wasn’t even halfway down the road of success and I already had a child to take care of. Just when I thought I was doing what I thought was right by taking responsibility for my son, I realized that I was taking another detour on my road to success.

The birth of my son did put a lot of things in better perspective. For one, I was forced to manage my money more efficiently. Not only were the expenses of having a child demanding, but it also put itself in front of my own needs. I could go another month without a new pair of shoes, but my son would need new diapers, formula and clothes on a regular basis. I even went as far as to start saving money just in case something would happen to me and I would not be able to work. I also gained a huge appreciation for my parents and their ability to raise 3 children. Just taking care of my son was hard work, and both of my parents worked full time jobs. Parenting takes a certain level of selflessness, and it wasn’t only until I was a parent myself when I realized that parents would do anything possible to meet their children’s needs. With that in mind, I reflected on all the sacrifices my mother and father took to allow me and my sisters to live comfortably. I new then that I had to be proactive in bettering the future of not only myself but also my family. And I knew it would take numerous sacrifices.

My son’s mother and I were doing much better handling our money, but we were still in a load of credit card debt. In order to relieve our financial strain, we decided to move back home to Vallejo with our respective parents until we could become more financially stable. We were willing to swallow our pride and look out for the good of our family and our future as a family. I was aware of the many things I would sacrifice by moving by like giving up some privacy, chores and spending time with my parents. What I didn’t expect was how coming back home would change the way I look at my parents and my family and make me more appreciative of them in my life.

Moving back home was initially rough. For the first time in two years I was living away from my girlfriend. On top of that, it was the first time I was away from my son. But what really was hard getting used to was being in somebody else’s home. Everything I wanted to escape I was willing to live with again. My parents, though, were surprisingly understanding of my situation. They didn’t hold me to the same limits I had before I moved away. My mother even told me during lunch one day that I could do whatever I had to do, just as long as I put the needs of my son and my family first. I was happy that my parents were actually happy I was home for the first time in two years. I began to appreciate having such understanding and supportive parents. My mom would even go as far as to offer me money to help with some of my son’s expenses. It was a pleasant surprise, but completely expected at the same time.

My parents have always been so generous. They have given me everything I could ever want and the least I could do is show them respect and appreciation. I looked back at how I completely blamed them for my disqualification from Davis and was ashamed because only then did I notice that it was my entire fault. My parents did everything in their power to allow me too succeed. They showed me a way to get to my goals and I chose to take my own route. It is from their example where I model my methods of parenting. Not just because of imitation, but because I have seen their methods at work and I am impressed with the results. My parents did tell me that I had to get back to school and get something done quickly to start supporting my family.

Being pressed to get back to school to find a way to support me and my new family, I attended Heald College in an attempt to break into the field of computer technology. Not fully thinking out this decision and recognizing the declining money and jobs in the computer technology field, I was still out of a job after graduation. So there I was with two Associate degrees in computer technology and several Microsoft professional certifications with no job to show for it. It turned out that what I thought was a fast lane on this different road to success was another detour to the wrong place.

After 4 months of waiting for the economy to get better and waiting for something to just fall into my lap, I decided to take control of my life. One of my instructors from Heald told me about an extended learning program with St. Mary’s and informed me that the program is well worth the time. I looked into the program and realized that this will be the perfect opportunity to hop back on the road I started on way back when I graduated high school. For the first time, I could see the end of the road. The destination was within my grasp and it was completely up to me to take the opportunity I have been waiting for.

After 4 years of looking around for the correct path, I realized that it was totally up to me to determine where my destination would be. I knew from the very beginning that I wanted to attain a Bachelor’s degree, but I was only aware of one road to get there. All this time all I could think about how many detours I have been forced to take on my road to success. I would look back at what I saw as mistakes and constantly ask myself “what if?” But now I look back on my life and I see that there never was an exact road I was supposed to take. There were never detours on my road at all. All the hardships and difficult decisions, whether if they were wrong or right, were part of the journey that led me to my current self. I think about my very first detour when I received the disqualification notice from UC Davis and I see that as not a detour, but as an actual part of my journey to success.

We focus so much on the end result of our bad decisions that we never stop to notice how we learn from our mistakes. These mistakes build character and make us who we are. Although they may be negative in nature, we must choose to learn from these life experiences if we want to better our character and ourselves. So many people perceive me being a young and unmarried father of a 2-year-old boy as an unfortunate situation. Others will see my disqualification from UC Davis and my hasty decision to attend Heald College amidst a technological recession as another unfortunate situation. I look back on those events as learning experiences that have helped me understand what I want to do with my future and the future of my family. They have helped me learn more about life than any textbook or psychologist could ever tell me.

Taking detours on your road to success can be painful. I have taken many detours in my life only to learn from them. Reflecting on these detours has taught me that we are all ultimately responsible for the roads we take, and if we choose to learn from our mistakes we will eventually end up exactly where we wanted to be in the first place. Am I where I want to be? Not quite. I still have a long way to go. But from learning from past detours in the form of life experiences, I am more than confident that I will eventually encounter the success and happiness I desire.

Okay, I'm going to assume that everybody that reads my blog knows about the entire Moxie situation because the only two people that read my shit (Leah, who told me about it, and Kool Keith, who blogged about it) already know about it to some extent. (I know you read me sometimes, Sahalie, but for some reason I don't think you concern yourself with such things.) But anyway, my normal reaction to not have one. I only have general idea of what happened, but my overall opinion is that it may be one of the stupidest things I've ever heard of on the 'net.

It was a fuckin' Internet catfight. An e-tussle. A key-style battle. Over what? "Moxie". Well, I hate to break it to you, but that shit sounds like laundry detergent.

"I'm going to pick up some Moxie, I got a cranberry stain on my collar."

"Moxie is great at getting my husband's shit stains out of his tighty whities."

How coincidental is it that at the same time Spike Lee is taking legal action against Viacom to stop them from changing TNN to "Spike TV" because of it's likeness to Spike's name? Well, both are fuckin' rediculous and we're all dumber after spending time just talking about it.

There's this slang term that I've been using a lot and I think it fits well here:

Gassed

People's heads are so filled with gas that they have a demented perception of reality. And just in case one of them reads this, this is reality:

And for all of you fuckin' Moxie Ovary Riders that are on a smear campaign, you get nothing but the dick. Go back to jackin' off to the thought of Moxie.nu reading your blog...

My blogging has been the shittiest in the past few weeks due to homework consuming not all of my time but all of my writing chi. I was pleasantly surprised to see that my hard work and determination had gained my a "Fie" spot over at Ultrablognetic. Thanks Kool Keith, you're worth your weight in Amethyst.

I've been ducking work as much as I can. I'm only scheduled to work every Monday night from 5-9:15, but the 1 hour drive up there and 1 hour back have been taking it's toll on me. Especially with all my writing assignments due on Tuesdays. It would be a good idea if I didn't procrastinate until the last few days before the assignments were due, but oh well. That's what I get for wanting to keep my discount.

I'm really hooked on this Friendster.com thing. Today I e-united with my 100th friend. I've done a good job of trying to keep my group of friends people who I've actually seen in person, but there are maybe 2 or 3 exceptions including Leah, somebody that HAD the chance to meet me in person, but thought otherwise. This was maybe 4 years ago (and 75 lbs lighter on my part) and I was CRAZY cute back then. I have no idea why she balked at the chance. But I'm not bitter.

Or am I?

Today's enlightening download of the day goes to Ras Kass' "Nature of The Threat". Go download it and tell me what you think, specifically the content of the lyrics.

It's Been A Long Time

A decade of instruction enhanced by the arts
a 4 element conglomerate a sum of the parts
i took each part and studied them
a student of the sciences
hooked up with the lifers and put together the aliances
we’re bonded together not with blood or relation
we’re bonded by ideology and self-preservation
music as a tool is in the embryonic stages
Hip Hop is suffering but this shit is for the ages

You can call me "Placebo". I'm for all the emcees that think they're sick.

I've been killin' myself writing paper after paper. Maybe it would help if I would stop procrastinating for once and get the papers done more than a day before they are due. I received a complement from my instructor about my writing. I think I suck. He thinks I am decent. See!! Set your goals low and you get pleasantly suprised!

One of my classmates, Mark, is an older 40 something man that has had every job that I wish I could do for a week or two. He's an Elvis impersonator and has spend good time as a stand up comedian. He came up to me yesterday to tell me that he really thinks that I have what it takes to be a stand up comedian. I looked at him crazy, because although I may have my moments, I am far from being a really funny person. He let me know that I have this knack for telling stories and that I have a presence about me. It's a damn shame I can't articulate myself in writing the way I convey myself interpersonally. It's true. I do love talking. I love talking about things that are important to me. I love talking about myself. I think all good speakers have a vanity about them because you have to love the way you sound if you speak so well.

I have 10 days to type a 10 page autobiographical paper. I promise, when I'm done I'll post it here so you all can laugh at me.

Beauty is everywhere. Some people need to be a little more introspective to find what everybody else sees as beautiful.

The following is a post I made in response to someone calling me a "traitor" for saying "I am Pilipino, but it does not define me."

Sure, I can say that I'm Pilipino. But what does that say about my character? What does that say about me as an individual.

Absolutely nothing.

Am I proud of being Pilipino? Yes. I am well educated about the stuggles of my people and I acknowedge and respect that fact. But ethnicity and/or nationality does little to fairly describe anybody as an individual. For every hard working and determined Pinoy, there's another Pinoy beating his wife and kids. I am more than just "Pinoy".

My point is that you are not defined by your ethnicity, nor are you defined by the way you dress etc. You are defined by your character, your morals and ethics, and your actions.

There is so much "empowerment" talk going on in our society, both by ethnicity andgender. The fact is that all of this "empowerment" means nothing if you are not "empowered" as an individual, regardless of gender and/or ethnicity.

Empower yourself. Define yourself.

Sometimes I want to make out with the Moon to make the Sun jealous.

The following are posts I made in response to artist Eminem, his appearance and his skills.

In regards to his lack of skill as in emcee:

LIke what? Breath control? Cadence? Use of alliteration and unique rhyme patterns? Proven freestyle ability? If there is anything that Em does have going for him, it is his all around technical emcee skills.

I seriously think that Eminem will always have an uphill battle. Some people love him just because he's white and buy into the image and the hype rather than the actual music. Some people hate him for the same exact reason. Give respect where respect is due. There is no denying his strengths as a battle emcee, as a technically sound emcee, and as a skilled emcee. If you don't agree with the content, then that's fine. If you don't like his image, I can respect that. But when it comes down to his overall skill as an emcee, there is no denying that.

Eminem is like the Biggies and the 2Pacs of the world because they crossed over HEAVILY over to the typically non-Hip Hop crowd. People somehow forget how Biggie put out one radio friendly song after another to cater to non-Hip Hop fans for the sole intent of going X times platinum. Jay-Z gets more love in suburban America than anyone not named Eminem. What do you think they're playing at a 7th grade sock hop in the middle of Montana. I dont' know either, but I'll bet that they played "In The Club" 3 or 4 times so all the little kids could try to Harlem Shake or C-Walk to it (probably looking like a room full of epileptics). So look how easy it was for 50 to cross over.

My point is that you can hate him for crossing over. You can hate him for getting more love from White America. But you can't deny the fact that the "greats" that came before them are responsible for someone like Eminem. Em didn't write the blueprint of how to be successful in Hip Hop. It was there already. Biggie went multi-platinum why? Because he crossed over. Jay-Z went multi-platinum why? Becase he crossed over. So if Em getting love from White America is somewhat unfair "because he's already White", why have all the past greats done the same exact thing?

No one hated Eminem until he became rich. When he was broke, we all saw him as a talented emcee who was unique and funny. No one cared that he was white. He was looked at for his skill, not his appearance. It's funny how people can start to nitpick once someone gets rich.

Don't get it twisted. Em isn't exactly my favorite emcee in the world. I have known of Em since '97, just after he competed at Scribble Jam. I see him for what he is as an emcee, not for his image, his hype or anything else.

In regards to the mentioning of 2Pac as a "global icon" similar to Elvis, and Eminem as "just another rapper"..

Funny that you'd bring up Elvis.

More parallels can be drawn from the career and popularity of Elvin and EMINEM than between Pac and Elvis. Eminem and Elvis both are white men doing what is considered "black" music and doing it successfuly. Before Elvis came out and eventually being the "King Of Rock N' Roll", Rock N' Roll was predominantly considered "black music".

Sound a little familliar?

As far as "Em not being on that level", you're sadly mistaken. Eminem is the most popular,not the greatest nor the best, but the most popular rapper in the world while Hip Hop music is an an all-time high level of worldwide popularity. In short, he is sitting on top of the Rap mountain that is bigger than it has ever been as far as worldwide popularity.

"Not on that level?" Hip Hop is international folks. We got b-boys in Korea, Graf writers in Paris and dj's from the Philippines competing at the DMC world championships. Eminem is currently the most talked about emcee on the planet. Period.

Who's the greatest emcee? Who knows? Hip Hop is only a little more than 29 year's old and we've come a long way since DJ Kool Herc threw that first party at 1520 Sedgewick Ave. in the Bronx. I think the "G.O.A.T." will keep getting trumped as Hip Hop continues to grow. It'll be different every 5 years because Hip Hop will continue to grow and innovate. Stop trying to make yourselves feel better about what you listen to by saying "X Emcee is the best". What's the point? Look at the bigger picture for once.

Not That Anyone Would Care

If you folks have been wondering where I've been, I've been here. It's quite addicting and I'm glad to say that I've touched based with at least 10 people that I haven't spoken to in about 5 years. I suggest that you register and fill everything out. It's pretty fun and it's nice to see how everybody you haven't seen in a while is doing.

Weekend Review

Caught Jim Carrey's "Bruce Almighty" on Friday. It was a decent movie that provided some good laughs here and there. Not exactly the typical "Dumb and Dumber"/"Ace Ventura"-type comedy we're used to seeing from Carrey, but it was more of an older, more mature comedy with a sappy ending that women around the world will enjoy. It get's the "Thumbs Up" from me.

Saturday morning, we dropped the kid off at my sister's house in San Jose. She was kind enough to watch him for the night because me and the woman had plans for the night, albeit separate. Saturday night I got wasted at a friend's graduation party. It was nice seeing faces I haven't seen in a while. I had a conversation with a guy I haven't seen in a good 5 years that joined the Marines and was runnin' n' gunnin' in Afganistan. I also had the opportunity to have half-coherent talks with people I normally wouldn't talk to when I'm sober. Also, it was the first time I've had more than one shot of Hennessy and didn't throw up. Up until Saturday night, I was batting 0 for 4 against Mr. Henn, but luckily enough I was able to come through in the clutch. I think I've found the trick for this veteran south paw: beer is a no no when drinking Henn. But now that I think about it, beer has no business being around when you have a good bottle of Hennessy at your disposal. I guess that's my bad.

Saturday spilled into Sunday morning. I couldn't drive home, so a good friend took my car to his house and I taxi'ed a ride with two othere friends. Apparently, I failed to remember that they had my keys, so I had no way of getting in the house. I had to wait a good 30 minutes outside for my girlfriend to come home from the bar and finally get in the house. Needless to say, I passed out as soon as the pillow hit my face.

Sunday, Monday, and most of Tuesday was spent trying to get all of my homework for school done. Eh, it could be worse. I could have a job.

It's Been A Long Time...

I haven't had possession of my cell phone for a little over a month. It's been stuck in Sacramento at a friends house and I'm way too lazy to drive up there just to retrieve it. By the looks of it, I think it's safe to say that I haven't died yet so maybe having a cell phone isn't exactly imperative to living your life, is it?

I've added Sahalie to the list of "People I Stalk". How could you not read anybody that loves Dos Coyotes?

I've being doing a good job of getting under Leah's skin lately. Those late night AIM conversations we have always degenerate into some USA/USA Jr. (read:Canada) debate or a one-sided "TMI" sex-related rant from me. I'm still pissed at her because she never felt the urge to want to meet me when I was up in Calgary staying my cousin, who just happens to be one of her old friends. Way to go, Idaho.

I've been feelin' Brother Ali's "Shadows Of The Sun" album lately. His music is so raw and expressive. I guess that's all I really ask, especially from Hip Hop artists. I want somebody that uses their music as a true artform and are honestly expressive. A lot of these cats nowadays fall into the materialistic bullshit, rappin' about nonsense. And just as long as it has a catchy hook or a nice beat, these kids buy into it and make these assholes rich. I don't want to continue putting money into that garbage. Fuck supporting commercial Rap. Fuck supporting underground Hip Hop. Support GOOD music. As long as you know what you're listening to and what it's doing to your mental, you are in control. And I have nothing against that.

A friend's graduation party tomorrow and the rest looks like family time for the tail end of the 3 day weekend. I'll probably be back Tuesday. Have a good weekend.

I miss regular doses of jennyeahyo.

True Story. I Swear.

I think it was a Saturday in 1999. I walked through the double glass doors that I usually walked through when going to work at the County Fair Mall in Woodland, California. As I walked through the center of the mall towards my Foot Locker, I noticed that there was some sort of stage set up along with a few rows of chairs. I stopped to read a sign that informed me that Animal Planet's "Zooventure" game show was in town during their cross-country tour and would be in the mall that weekend. Slightly suprised that ANY TV show would make their way through Woodland, a rural but developing suburb of the Sacramento metropolitan area, let alone Animal Planet's "Zooventure".

As I opened the gate to my store and went through the daily store opening procedures, I realized that Zooventure was hosted by no other than the "Master-of-all-Child-Game-Shows-of the-Past-Decade" himself, J.D. Roth. You know J.D. He is currently the host of another Survivor type show for kids called "Endurance", and has done numerous youth directed projects including some w/ Disney. But his current status isn't what got me excited. J.D. Roth was the host of probably the best child game shows ever, "Funhouse". I can remember watching "Funhouse" during the early 90's and loathing the children on the show and dreaming about one day being a contestant. It was the ultimate game show of my time, even better than Nickelodeon's "Double Dare".

As I finally got my store open and another employee came in to work, I noticed J.D. walking around the mall just scoping it out. I decided to track him down and let him know how much I appreciated his work. I finally caught him infront of "Sports Station" a sports fan gear store and all I could say was "Yo, man. I loved "Funhouse". He thanked me and went on his way.

For maybe 3 minutes, I felt as if I met somebody important. I was practically star-struck and didn't know how to react to what just happened. Then I started to think "Damn he's is only a B-grade star." Fuck that. He's a C or D-grade star. His popularity couldn't even get him a square on Hollywood Squares. But regardless, I met somebody that I see on TV, and I guess that says something (unless I saw a person from Cops on the wrong side of an ass whoopin'). Anyway, that's a story.

Interesting post script to that story, J.D. came into my store the very next day to watch the Lakers game on the store television. I got him a stool to sit on an placed it directly in front of the tv. He kept having to shoo away little kids that wanted his autograph or wanted him to pick them for the next game. I noticed that he got rather PISSED at some kids bordering on just being straight mean. I found it pretty funny that someone that has made a career on children's programing could be so impatient with bothersome kids. Another funny thing is when we were talking about the Lakers and he even pointed out to me where his season tickets were. He went on to tell me that he did interviews with Dream Team 2 for Disney and that Shaq "is a dick". Funny shit.

The "Shit-That-Tastes-Like-Shit-But-I-Can't-Stop-Eating" List

Chinese Mustard

Sauerkraut

Cranberry Juice

Bittermelon

Vagina

First Drafts Rule Because It's Okay To Suck

Purposely incomplete because a) I wasnt' sure what the teacher wanted and b) I was too lazy to even revise it. I mean, it is the first draft, right? Anyway, I'm supposed to be making a case of the perfect "Adult" learning environment in contrast to traditional aged (17-22) education.

As the old saying goes, “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.” But apparently, times have changed. With the economy sagging in recent years and employers requiring higher levels of education for open jobs, an influx of new adult students have flooded educational institutions. With this new adult student, we can’t expect traditional methods of teaching that are used with younger students to be sufficient. So what adjustments can instructors make to accommodate these older and more experienced student to create the ideal adult learning environment? An instructor can create the ideal adult learning environment if he/she can find the perfect balance of conceptual learning, experiential reflection and the pursuit of short-term and long-term goals. A nine-month Microsoft training course was the closest I have ever been experiencing this ideal adult learning environment and the instructor did her best to find this perfect balance.

Having the ability to relate concepts taught in class to personal experiences and to reflect on them is crucial in the ideal adult learning environment. Adults have an advantage over traditional aged students because they have more experience gained from on-the-job experiences and personal history. My Microsoft training course had students with varying ages and experience levels in the computer field. Those with more experience where given the opportunity to relate the concepts learned in class, giving the concepts more punch. Often times, there would be conflicts between the concepts taught in class and the “real life” experiences of other students, sparking discussion and enhancing what was taught in class. This is an advantage because it gives book-taught concepts a personal touch from peers, a characteristic that those in a traditional setting would not have.

Determining short-term and long-term goals in an adult learning environment is imperative for an instructor to maintain drive and motivation. Having over forty years experience in the computer industry, our instructor of the training course not only identified the class grades and certifications as short-term goals, but she also identified future job status and the increased earning potential in the long-term.

Although having a goal-oriented learning environment may not be any different from K-12 learning environments, it is the identification of both long-term and short-term goals that will cater to the adult learners. Younger students will take things as they get it and not see the “bigger picture” An older, more adult student will want to see the immediate results of their efforts (short-term) because there is a financial investment and a personal investment. At the same time, they will have a larger perspective and understand the long-term benefits of education (long-term) creating a desire for achievement and success throughout all members of the class. Having both long-term and short-term goals clearly defined are key to having the idea adult learning environment, even if they vary by student.

The perfect balance of conceptual learning and experiential reflection and the pursuit of short-term and long-term goals are crucial to producing the ideal adult learning environment. The Microsoft training course I attended was a perfect example of this balance. The need of adult students is very different than those of traditional aged students. Although my training course was structured specifically for technical adult students, I believe that this method would be effective for all adult students in the sense that experiential reflection is a benefit where adult students can learn from each other, rather than from only the instructor. I feel that I am very lucky in the sense that I was fortunate to be part of such an ideal learning environment.

Dispelling Any and All Rumors...

I shall call him "Mini-Me".

audblog audio post

Because My Writing Is Shitty....

I have two short first draft essays due on Tuesday and I busted one out tonight in about two hours. I have about zero confidence in my writing so I'll do a test run here. I ask that you please critque and let me have it. This is the first essay I've written in about two years. Any help or criticism would be helpful.

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"Life is just a series of moments." These words, written by Kevin Smith and performed by Matt Damon in the Miramax movie "Dogma" as he explains life to a doubtful nun, speak truths about the development of the average adult human and his/her character. Regardless of if they are positive or negative experiences, it is these moments that shape and develop our character as we live our lives. For some it may be a marriage. For others, it may be their first career change. For many like myself, the birth of a child is one of these life-altering moments. The birth of my son has allowed me to reprioritize my values, to focus on attaining a Bachelor’s degree and to understand the concept of unconditional responsibility.

The birth of my very first child at the young age of 20 has forced me to reprioritize my values in a positive way. As a teen, I was very irresponsible with money. I was more concerned with socializing and having fun than I was with completing my education, managing my time and money management. As soon as my son was born, I immediately began budgeting my money to ensure that all of his necessities were met. I cut back on socializing and opted to spend more time caring for and raising my son. This additional responsibility of raising my son also created the need to manage my free time more effectively, forcing me to allot time for specific activities. But the largest priority other than my son became my education.

The sudden responsibility of fatherhood has also focused my efforts in attaining a Bachelor's Degree. During my first three years of college education, before my son was born, I lacked motivation and perspective on the future. I chose classes based on how easy I would pass them, not whether or not they fulfilled requirements. I was skating with my education until the birth of my son made me come to the realization that attaining a degree is the most important end of higher education. As obvious as high school counselors and my parents had made it in the past, it never came to me that my education was not only important to myself, but my future wife and children as well. I was very fortunate that this realization occurred. Some people realize the importance of education immediately. Some like myself come to the realization a little late. What makes me lucky is the fact that a lot of people never even come to this realization. They are something you just have to take responsibility for.

The life of my son is something that I have to take responsibility of unconditionally. Before he was born, I wasn’t responsible for anybody else but myself. The concept of being responsible for something or someone else wasn't a foreign concept at all. I did have a girlfriend and family members that I felt some sort of responsibility to, but it isn't the same. What makes fatherhood different is the fact that I cannot brush of this responsibility nor can I postpone it. My son is something that I must take care of at all times. For the very first time, somebody’s needs and wants became more important than my own. That type of responsibility is unconditional. This type of responsibility encompasses my daily life. Not one hour goes by where I don’t think about my responsibility to my son. I have learned though, that even if this responsibility may be difficult at time, it is also the most rewarding.

From my perspective, life really is just a series of moments. The birth of my son is proof positive that whether or not these moments shape a person's character is based specifically on how that person learns and grows from each situation. As far as I am concerned, I am still a work in progress. There will be numerous experiences, positive and negative, that I will encounter in my life. Only now do I have the maturity to identify these moments and grow from them. I think we all are "works in progress" because the process of experiencing and learning from these moments never ends.

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I read this and I'm really forcing myself not to edit this from my blog. Oh well. My writing is shitty.

Thanks, Steven Wright

"I once dreamt that I had insomnia. I woke up exhausted, but too well rested to go back to sleep."

"...of course we gotta pay bills, so the money connects/

but uh..I'd rather be broke and have a whole lotta respect..." - OC in "Time's Up"

There following are a series of posts that I wrote in response to the discussion topic of "Would u rather blow up and sell like Em n Jigga or...Get as much respect as Big L and remain underground? Why?"

Bastitch

Moderator

(5/6/03 3:00:16 pm)

^^^It's not so cut and dry. The financial gap between being signed to a huge label and being an independent artist is closing rapidly.

I would rather have complete control of my music, marketing and distribution and be independent than be signed to a huge label making more money for people who really don't give a damn about my music than I do for myself.

I see it like owning a restaurant: You can either be part of a franchise and get all the benefits of being part of a larger group but have to do it the way someone else tells you to, or you can be "mon 'n pop" and make the food that YOU want, the way YOU want to and not have to pay any fees for using the company name, marketing and advertising, etc.

People know that the BEST restaurants are independently owned and run.

But that's only the tip of the iceberg. As an emcee, you are an artist. You live off of expressing yourself through your lyrics. If you write rhymes with the only motivation to make money, you're in this for the all the wrong reasons. You are no longer just expressing yourself. You are writing rhymes thinking "Will this song allow me to cross over to white suburbia and in turn go Platinum?" If that's the case, consider yourself the true essence of a "Sell-Out". You are pretty much bent over, pants down and takin' it like a pro.

Sellin' out your art for dough? That ain't Hip Hop dawg.....thats "Hip-Pop".

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Bastitch

Moderator

(5/6/03 6:34:57 pm)

Quote:

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all these underground heads want money, they just failed because their music isn't up to par or they weren't properly recorded

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That probably would have been a true statement say, 15 years ago. That is no longer true. The difference between a 64-track and a 128-track is not noticable to the untrained ear. The difference between a platinum artist and a wood artist is whether or not they can cross over and get on MTV. It's definitely NOT based on the quality of music.

The amount of people who actually know the difference between good and bad Hip Hop music is very small relative to the size of the Hip Hop music market. Let's forget about race and try to understand the concept: You will not move Em or Jigga type units unless you can convince people outside of the Hip Hop community to buy your album.

Right now, more people than ever are profiting from Hip Hop music because it has become a part of popular culture. But you must remember that pop culture is fickle and will eat these artists up and spit them out as soon as American society becomes sick of Hip Hop and moves on to the next "big thing". Remember, they did it to "B-Boying" back in the early 80's and they will do the same thing to Hip Hop Music. There is precedence for this type of thing.

Except for a very minute percentage, not many big label artists are in control right now. Commercial Hip Hop music is not in the hands of people who care about whether or not what they are doing is for the good of the culture. We have record excecutives that are literally signing every artist that even resembles what is currently "hot" just to milk every cent from this "Fad".

Damn, I digressed and now I don't know where I was going. Oh well, find the holes and create discussion. I have to leave for school....I'll brb later tonight.

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Home Sweet Home

My weekend was as eventful as my weekends can get. Saturday morning we went shopping (again). I picked up another pair of shoes, a new Giants hat to match my new authentic grey road jersey (that my fantastic fiance picked up for me Friday afternoon), and a Barry Bonds t-shirt. We also met up with my sister and her husband to see their new house that is under construction in suburban Sacramento. Their soon to be house is no more than 3 miles away from Arco Arena, the home of the NBA's Sacramento Kings. With Bay Area homes soaring in price along with the Prime Interest Rate lower than it's been in years, the time was just right for them to move to the Sacramento Valley. I'm happy for them.

All this "new-house" talk has created a lot of dialogue between my fiance and I about purchasing a new home. With our horrible credit accumulated when we first lived on our own, we were barely able to purchase our new car just one year ago. The prospects of purchasing a house are still out of our reach, but we have decided to go on a "5-year plan". We are giving ourselves 5 years to save up money, rebuild our credit, and purchase our first house. My mom and dad have also been talking about helping us purchase a house, whether if that means co-signing for it or helping gather money for a down payment. I'm begining to think that my parents are tired about worrying about me and want to make sure that everything is stable in my life before they start worrying about my younger sister. They know that I am horrible with money (and I guess horrible with just responsibility in general) so I understand their concern.

Well, back to my Saturday...

Saturday night was capped off with a trip to the movies with my boys to watch X-Men 2. We purchase the tickets for the 9:50 show on fandango.com to make sure we got the tickets before we headed over there at 9:30. We got there and walked in the theatre only to find out that there weren't 5 contiguous free seats for us to sit in except for the first 2 front rows. We decided to go to the box office and exchange our tickets for the later (and what we thought was the last) show at 10:30. We were told that the 10:30 show was sold out, but they had added an 11:00 showing to accomodate those shut out of the last two shows.. With about half an hour to kill, we all piled into my Corolla and headed to Applebee's for a quick drink then shot back to the theatre.

As far as the movie was concerned, I thought it was entertaining an fun. It was somewhat predictable, but then again what comic books aren't? I did, though, feel sorry for all those who aren't familiar with the X-Men saga, because I don't think it would have been anywhere near as fun coming into the movie with zero comicbook knowledge. I mean, one of the most exciting parts was a brief cameo by Colossus, a part of the movie where me, my boys and a few others in the theatre nearly pissed ourselves. But something like that would definitely zoom by the head of your average movie-goer. You add the very end of the movie with the sillouette of the phoenix in the water and you have what I call a "movie cock-tease" for comic geeks like myself. I haven't been this excited to see another sequel in a while.

With a bunch of chick-flicks littering the movie landscape, this movie was definitely "for the boys". I mean, Storm (Halle Berry), Jean Gray(Famke Janssen), Mystique(Rebecca Romijn-Stamos), and Lady Death Strike (Kelly Hu)? Damn, all they have to do is bring Psylocke back for X3 and I'm going to watch it....TWICE on opening day.

Maybe I should start that petition to get them to cast Aria Giovannia as Psylocke now.....

Damn, with all these comic book pictures I feel like Kool Keith up in this bitch.

Well Said

I asked my son today what his cereal tasted like. He responded with "Umm.......cereal."