A True Catch 22

I witnessed something today that led to mixed emotions.

I frequently play basketball at the elementary school 3 blocks from my house. Today was the first nice day in about a week, so I decided to take my son out to play at the playground while I played basketball with the other "usuals". As I was walking up the stairs to play, I noticed a younger girl, maybe about 11 or 12 years old, chasing a boy about the same age up the stairs and right passed me. She grabbed his t-shirt about 3 yards in front of me stopping him in his tracks. She then proceeded to pummel him in the back and the back of his head and neck with punches. I was startled at first until I was able to process what was happening.

My first reaction was to laugh, because the girl was indeed beating the crap out of this boy. But as it continued for what seemed like minutes (but was probably no more than 30 seconds), I thought about stopping it when it became obvious that the boy held no malice towards the girl and wanted to do nothing violent. The girl finally withdrew from the boy, crying and explaining her situation as the 15 or so of us who witnessed it listened, some laughing uncontrollably and some just curious.

It turns out that the girl and boy were playing basketball at the lower courts and the boy inadvertently elbowed the girl in her mouth, chipping her tooth and busting her lip open. It was obviously an accident and the boy was very apologetic, but for some reason the girl just went wild on him. I felt sorry for the boy because he was immediately put in a situation that is a lose/lose situation. I mean, he could just stand there and get beat up by the girl, and in turn pretty much be banned from ever coming back to the courts and be branded "The Guy Who Got Whooped By That Girl". BUT, if he hits the girl, then he's an asshole, because it's pretty much common sense that a male should never hit a female.

I was discussing this with my friend, and he disagreed with my logic. He said "I don't believe that shit. If a girl has the balls to hit me, I'm fighting back." I was taken back at first, but the more I thought about it, some women are fuckin' crazy. I personally have been in a situation where a girl was threatening me with violence, but I immediately withdrew myself from the conflict. It was in a public place and there were plenty of people to stop any threat of violence. But in this case with the young girl and boy, there was nothing stopping this girl. Her only reaction was violence. And it wasn't the first time I've seen a girl wild out on a guy. There really isn't anyway you can react violently to a situation like that, so I am kind of confused.

That kid was put in a situation where either way he'd come out the asshole. A true "Catch 22". This girl was literally the kind of girl that would eventually get violent with the wrong guy and get her ass beat. I almost wanted to either console him and let him know that I understood his dilemma or rile him up enough to hit her back. I mean, damn, can a man hit a woman in self-defense?

Don't get it twisted, I'm with Chris Rock on this type of situation. I would never hit a woman.....but I'D SHAKE THE SHIT OUT OF ONE.

"We're Not Worthy!"

So one of my best friends meets Aria Giovanni.....

Thank God For Socks

I have the ugliest feet ever. I'll take the Pepsi Challenge against fuckin' Shaquille O'Neal and his beast man shoes, and I bet I'd win. Of my numerous imperfections, the complete disfigurement of my feet and toes gets the crown. Even in comparison to tribesmen and women who frolick on the Earth without shoes or sandals, my feet are still more run down. I don't know what happened. I can specifically remember an incident in 5th grade when Jonathan Diaz and Miguel Rodriguez came to my house to ask if I can play. As soon as I opened the door, Miguel giggled, laughed and pointed at my 10-year-old bare feet saying "You have the ugliest feet I've ever seen." That moment was like an epiphany. I never realized what horrible condition my feet were in.

As long as I can remember, I've opted not to wear shoes in even the roughest of terrain. I spent numerous hours of my Summers in the backyard of my cookie-cutter suburban home barefooted and carefree. Even when running up the street, my bare feet would speed along the concrete warmed by the golden Californian Sun as I retrieved the mail for my mom. I never stopped to notice the rough skin and numerous scars. Not once did I notice the disfigurement of my toes, probably from refusing to tell my mom how my favorite sneakers have become to small after one of my many growth spurts. I was completely oblivious. Until that punk bitch Miguel opened his buck-toothed mouth.

So now I sit here, 13 years later with feet that have seemed to fulfill a prophecy. Not only have the condition of my feet NOT improved, but they have become worse. Instead of being the worst feet that a 10 year old punk has ever seen, they have become the worst feet that I've ever seen. Am I still self-consious of it? Definitely. I never have worn sandals without socks in public. The last time I've walked the beach in my bare feet was on my high school Senior Trip to Newport Beach, almost 5 years ago to the day. I have become obsessed with hiding this deformity. Even my fiance, a woman who had the patience enough to give me weekly exfoliations and pedicures, has given up. Her patience and effort hasn't shown any improvement on the condition. I think I've lost all hope.

Thank God for socks, indeed.

Sometimes I Bitch, Sometimes I Sound Like A Bitch....

In high school, I used to dance. I used to dance a lot. I was the guy that would be the first to start dancing with a girl and then be last couple off the floor when the music stopped (or when the cops came to break it up). Dancing in high school was rough, especially because there would be a room full of people who didn't dance watching you and scrutinizing your every step in their heads. At numerous cotillions, I cha-cha'd, tango'd and waltz'd my heart away, knowing that I was a good, if not very good, dancer.

Now, almost 6 years, hundreds of beers, hours spent not working out, and 50 lbs removed from that time, I can't help but wonder how I hold up to those standards. I'm almost scared to think that I'd be a dork on the dance floor. That's just not me. I can't be the dork. But when I look at myself in the mirror every morning, I know something is different. My face is a little more filled out. My hair is begining to show flashes of wisdom and stress. The carefree, reprecussionless look in my eyes has been replaced with worry and concern. I'm a totally different guy. I'm getting fuckin' old. And that bugs me. Am I that "old guy" at the bar? You know, that old guy....

Okay, well I'm not that old, but I'm still a little apprehensive to get back on the floor to dance. Gone are the days of dancing in garages, that later turned into nights going "clubbing". Dancing now is reserved for formal parties and weddings. At least at those things, everybody looks like a dork trying to get jiggy in a tux or a suit. I'm no longer "hip" or "cool" so the confidence that I used to have has dwindled. Oh well.

Growing up is hard to do.

Sorry Canadians....

Free 2 Year Subscription to Maxim

Free Subscrption to Blender

Free Subscrption to The Source

U.S. Only.

Finding Things To Bitch About

Faboo LADI [12:15 AM]: but then why those glowing windshield wiper fluid things?

D0NNIEVEGA [12:16 AM]: those are so fuckin' dumb, i can't even articulate

Faboo LADI [12:16 AM]: no doubt

D0NNIEVEGA [12:16 AM]: that's like having a blacklight in your car

Faboo LADI [12:16 AM]: oh good god

D0NNIEVEGA [12:17 AM]: it's like saying "hey, my car is so cool, it's like a club in this bitch"

Whether people want to believe it or not, TyPiNg LyKe DiS either causes uncontrollable laugher or uncontrollable vomiting. But in no way is that shit cool.

No matter what your favorite rapper wears, pink is still not a color that any self-respecting man should wear. Even Richard Simmons.

"..and they blame it Marilyn and the heroin

where were the parents at? and look where it's at/"

Urban youth need new fuckin' role models. We have kids immitating the likes of Fabolous and Cam'ron and we wonder why kids are actin' a fool. Who do they have to look up to? We have all these parents complaining about so much violence and sex on our tv screens and in movie theatres, but never have you heard "You know what? I don't think I've raised you as well as I would have liked to." Parents need to take some damn responsibility and take control of their children. If somebody else's kid acts a fool in front of me, be sure that I'll be the first person to put that idiot in his/her place.

"Miss Amerikkka" - Aceyalone

all right
yo, this song came about one time when
I- I was- I was on a plane back, going back to Los Angeles
coming from somewhere else
and I sat next to this lady and she was telling me something
I don't remember it verbatim,
but I do remember some of the things she said
it was like this-

Life as we know it is about to change
I smell it within the air
the weather is getting strange
drugged up, sedated and
numb from the pain
the sickness in America has spread to her brain
she is no longer fit to make good decisions
she is completely blind and void of any vision
she parties hard and she keeps her conscious mind imprisoned
therefore she's headed for the ultimate collision
she can no longer hide the scars on her face
the innocence now gone is hard to replace
she has no shame, no remorse or any grace
she embraces the devil and she hates over race
Ms. America, the beautiful the free
fallen within the cracks, I wish that you could see
she buried her misery, within society
it's obvious, you have no regard for me

Chorus:
caught up in the belly of America
lost, in the stomach of America
broken down, in the bowels of America
sinking, in the garbage of America
stuffed, in the brain of America
suffering, in the body of America
lying, in the wicked spirit of America
dying, in the old soul of America

Ms. America, you've been a very bad girl
you nearly disgraced humanity in the eyes of the world
vanity has took you over, you're not deserving
the mirror image of your reflection is quite disturbing
she makes so many promises she couldn't keep
she neglected to mother her young, so they don't sleep
they scream out for justice, and then they weep
when out to blame Ms. America, that's what you reap
the audacity of your inventions to rule us all
the tragedy of your intentions to fool us all
you should have gave into nature and to the law
it's only a matter of time before you fall
the things you should of worked out in your first colony
victim of your own advice and your psychology
you've destroyed all morale and the ecology
I'm sorry, but I don't accept your apology

Chorus

Homeless America, so much attraction
has yet to take ability for her actions
we work around within the system and make adaptations
you can let freedom ring, within your faction
how can people still be hungry, when there's a surplus?
suffering within your home, you've made them worthless
damn near police the state, you make us nervous
even though some conform and join your service
you're presidency's the biggest joke, but we're the laugh
always smell the gun smoke, on your behalf
I think I should send a telegraph to your staff
America you're down and dirty, you need a bath
so tell your secret agents, don't be paranoid
this wasn't taught by Socrates or Sigmund Freud
this is simply gods work, you can't avoid
ever nation ever built has been destroyed

[Insert Witty Title Here]

This morning, I took a while to just sit here and think about the exact qualities that these more popular blogs have in common. I mean, some of these have excellent writing that paints pictures with words. Others are informative and provide unique information. I've also seen many that have captivating personal stories that see to pull you in with a tractor beam. You also can't forget the Blogs with hot, near naked chicks where readers come for the picutures but stay for the actual writing. I mean, you can't beat tits.

These almost superior formats have spawned an unbelievable amount of clones and style-biters. I mean, I can't lie. I've only been doing this Blog thing for about 2 months. I literally hopped in the game with absolutely no idea of what I was jumping into, with the only Blog I've ever read in my life was Leah's after I referred her to the Ass Cheeks O' Doom(Yeah, I showed her that). I'd like to believe that my shit is original, but I have to admit that I am inspired by jennyeah's ability to tell a story or Kool Keith's ability to pull a blog out of thin air.

At the very begining, I was writing to try to be funny and try to be readable, because my readership was (and still is) non-existent. I wanted to be "popular". I wanted to be motherfuckin' Tony Pierce, selling link spots and shit. But now, fuck that. Fuck catering to people. I'd type my thoughts out even if nobody read this this. After a convo with jennyeah, where she stated that sometimes she feels like she's in a circus being forced to perform, I'm almost disgusted and excited at the same time about this Blog. No more rules. No more "trying". You'll get what you get and I guess that should be good enough.

That wasn't too "Hippie" was it?

S is for "Saturday" and "Shopping"...

We took a trip to Haight St. in San Francisco Saturday morning and found EXCELLENT parking directly in front of Ben & Jerry's on the corner of the famous intersection Haight and Ashbury. Haight is such a beautiful and diverse area of the city, and it's something that has to be seen in person to be truly appreciated. You have people of all ethnic groups, socio-economic classes, ages and sexual orientations all in one place to either eat or shop. I've never seen any type of violence on Haight. I think people are either too busy or too high to even care enough to start shit.

The unique shops, though, are probably serve as one of the biggest draws, with places like TRUE, Stussy, Villans, and Amoeba Music to go along with the numerous places to buy 5 ft. tall bongs. I mean, damn, this place must be good if upper-class white men in suits ignore the unlimited number of transients, urine-stenched homeless and more dogs than the movie "Lady and The Tramp".

Oh well, I bought stuff.

Hip Hop, I Love It To the Fullest....

As I type this late Sunday night, the after effects of a busy Saturday night are becoming more and more noticable. Last night, I made my way to Rafael's, a local bar here in town that has recently transformed into a Hip-Hop epicenter. The walls of the bar is beautifully covered with the different graffiti art styles which adds that special touch. My longtime friend lmntal threw a dope show showcasing Vallejo's local talent and even headlined the event itself. Good stuff, good beats, great lyrics, and lot's of love. It was especially nice because there were tons of old friends that I haven't talked to in years in attendance, along with good friends that I haven't had the time to spend quality time with.

One of greatest things of the night was the fact that it was a 21+ crowd and there was never a sense of tension or violence. Vallejo has always had this reputation for being one of the most violent cities in our area and it was great to see all the love.

Spending about $50 dollars on drinks, I filled myself with shots of Hennesy and Liquid Cocaines and washed down with a good amount of beer. I drove home in a stupor and layed on my couch, damn near zombie-like, attempting to supress by desire to vomit. After about 1 1/2 hours of drifting in and out of consiousness, I finally threw up in the bathroom and passed the fuck out on the couch.

Another quality night.

ELEVEN CENTS A GALLON?

A newscaster just reported that Iraqis are paying 11 cents per gallon for gas. It looks like with the extra $2.00 per gallon I paid for gas today, I get freedom and safety along with it. Now that's a bargain!

A friend told me today that she's paying about $800 per month on a 3 bedroom apartment in Florida. I almost vomitted at the idea, being that with $800 per would get you a one bedroom apartment in most cities here in the Bay Area. In San Francisco and San Jose? A cardboard box with some candles. And even that would be pushing it.

Kool Keith told me that he thinks my Blog rocks. I think my Blog couldn't rock if it were inscribed on granite.

Leah is such a kind person that she has problems with me insulting myself. Haven't you watched "Chasing Amy"? It's called "Empowerment- Disempowerment".

I watch a Kevin Smith directed movie at least once a week.

Meesh and jennyeah are now on my "People I Stalk" list.

Best Euphemized Job Title Of The Day: "H20 Router" aka "Plummer".

Another case of the "Mundays"...

Well, maybe not. I mean, I don't have a job. I didn't have to wake up early. Oh, and I have something to look forward to today: WARRIORS GAME!!

Tonight, my Golden State Warriors take on Kool Keith's Los Angeles Clippers in a battle of Western Conference mediocrity. As it stands, both teams are eliminated from the possibility of playoff, and are only playing for pride (if that even exists.). There is, though, a silver lining in all this: Today is Antawn Jamison Bobblehead night. For those that might remember, the last game I attended was Chris Mullin bobblehead night.

Okay, since 2 of my 3 total readers are women(and Canadian), I'll stay away from any more sports talk. Losing any one of my readers would mean a 33% drop of total reads. We can't be havin' that....

My son became pretty ill at the begining of the weekend and it was pretty rough taking care of him. It makes me appreciate my parents and my auntie who would take care of me when I was ill as a child. That stuff is hard work, and knowing my lazy ass, it was harder taking care of a child like myself. I was always the one who would milk my sickness for every last bit of sympathy and concern. The good thing is, I don't see that in my son. He just wants to be like his normal self, but is forced to lay down and just rest because of how he feels. The good thing is that he's feeling a lot better and is up and about. I think a visit from my older sister and my brother-in-law yesterday was a big "pick me up" for him. He gets tired of being around me all the time and gets extra excited when different people come and hangout with him.

It doesn't hurt my feelings, I'm pretty damn sick of him sometimes too.

Rain

It's raining again in Northern California. No sun, no basketball, and most importantly NO GIANTS GAME.

Thanks j20!

Sometimes Words Aren't Even Enough....

Some people don't realize their own personal worth. We are usually our own harshest critics, and most times it is unwarranted. Can you think of anybody that notices the little changes and imperfections when you look at yourself in the mirror? Nobody criticizes you more than yourself, and it's unfortunate. I honestly try to let people know how much I value their presence, but I know that most times it's not as much as I should. I think a lot of people restrain their appreciation or just fail to do so. A lot of people don't realize how beautiful, unique and irreplacable they are in this world.

I wish people could/would understand that.

"...and the children are over-sexualized media-wise/

brutalized by their parents at the tender age of five/

in front of they siblings wide-eyed...." - Latyrx on "Looking Over A City"

I have a two year old son that watches Nickelodeon all day. I can't help but notice all of these advertisements for singing groups and toys that are not acceptable to any child under the age of 13. The children of our society are being exposed to content that is far more violent and sexual than any time before us. I don't see kids at the local elementary school playing games anymore. They're too worried about messing up their hair and getting dirty. THESE ARE 8,9 and 10 YEAR OLD KIDS!!

Corporations have become aware that 4-10 year olds are consumers as well and completely take advantage of that by marketing products to our kids that are not intended for them. It is our responsibility to open our eyes and use discretion when deciding what our children should and should not be exposed to.

Sometimes, It Just Feels Right....

I have nothing against protestors. Having the right to protest is one of the many things that make America beautiful.

Today, there were news reports that here in the Bay Area, Oakland to be exact, police used rubber and wooden pellets on the unruly wannabe hippies causing major disruption in the streets. I will admit that police brutality is a real and often over looked aspect of domestic law enforcement. There is no denying that. But I will also like to say that it is about damn time the police did something that adds some consequence to creating such a huge disturbance and literally taking money out of other people's pockets.

Let's put this all in perspective:

They disagree with the war. Good.

They would like to display their disagreement with the war by making a demonstration. Fine.

They want to cause financial gridlock by shutting down city streets and in turn taking money out of peoples' pockets from the CEO of a huge company all the way down to the janitor working 2 jobs just to feed his kids? What the fuck?

You see, I don't think that's getting anything done. If anything, you're just pissing people of. A lot people who disagree with this war aren't really sure why they disagree, and it's a sad thing. Everybody is so quick to hop on the "anti-establishment" bus these days. "Subvert the dominant paradigm". "Go against the grain". I think some people have taken the anti-war stance because the ideology of swimming upstream is so "facinating".

To these people I say: Educate yourself and make your own damn decisions.

Yeah, I know there are other people that are anit-war and know exactly what they're talking about, but these people are far and few between.

The Count Down Is On.....

Approximately 434 days until The Olsen Twins are legal. But who's counting?

I HAVE A DAMN SPLINTER

Being the nice guy that I am, I hopped the back fence to retrieve a ball that the kids next door accidently threw over. At first hey wanted to "borrow a ladder", but I wasn't about to be held accountable if two kids fell of a ladder that I gave them in order to retrieve a ball. I ran out back, hopped the fence like a 40 year old man would, got them their ball and was faced with the option of walking all the way around the houses to get back home or to hop the fence like I did 10 years ago running away from dogs. In "old man denial", I hopped the fence with ease. Feeling good about what i just accomplished, I also realized that I had a damn splinter.

This splinter was horrible. It inserted itself directly in the crease of the first joint on my right ring finger. I must have sat down with tweezers, a needle and a nail cutter trying my damned-est to get it out. I was willing to do anything. I was even butchering and pinching my finger with no regard for pain, just as long as I could possibly slip the small piece of wood out. Unfortunately, it was to no avail, and gosh dammit, I'm hurting still.


Being "Mr. Mom" sometimes has it's benefits...

Last week, I was assigned with the task of picking up my 12 year old cousin from school everyday in exchange for $20 a week. Not a bad deal if you ask me....

Oh yeah, it's the same cousin that can't play soccer worth a lick.

April Showers Bring May Flowers....or something..

After a weekend with temperatures int he low 80's and the possibility of an extra-early Summer, Mother Nature has slapped all of us Califonians in the face with the possibility of showers along with a mass of cold air from the direction of Canada (BLAME CANADA!!). I will admit that I'm not exactly ready for weeks upon weeks of 90's and 100's during this Summer. The prospect of going another Summer without air conditioning is scary, so the search for a job and an apartment with central cooling is becoming more and more frantic. I'm telling you, there's nothing worse than waking up at 8 in the morning, sweating from the 90 degree heat. I think it's time to move to the coast.

I Finally Went Out and Did Something...

This past Saturday night, I finally attented my first show at a comedy club. Myself and 3 of my good friends made our way to San Francisco's "The Punch Line" comedy club to see one of our favorite stand-up comedians Mitch Hedberg. He's weird, he's different, but at the same time his comedy is completely unlike anything I've ever heard. He's had numerous appearancing on Dave Letterman's Late Night show and has his own special on Comedy Central. Many of these performances can be seen at his site. I suggest everybody take a look and see what the hype is all about. This guy is going to blow up.....

I will admit though, there was a few things that irked me big time about the people at the club. First off, there was a group of straight idiots behind me saying Mitch's material as he was saying them. I mean, I know all of his older material too, but why are you fucking it up for everybody else? Fucking selfish bastards....

The second thing that bugged me what the numerous people there that weren't even laughing at the jokes. They were just sitting there, stone-faced and stoic. It was annoying. They paid 20 bucks to just sit there. Shit, give me 20 bucks and you could do the same thing in my bathroom.

Because I like you all....

Here's a coupon that you can use at any Foot Locker (including Foot Locker.com) where you can get 30% off everything in stock (some exclusions may apply) this weekend.

You're welcome.