Wednesday, February 22, 2006

The stress and just overall draining nature of having to commute and hour to and from work is really starting to get to me. I'm literally on edge, and every little thing seems to push me another step or two towards stage left. It's simply not worth the extra effort and stress when it's become blatantly obvious that the respect and loyalty you hold for your employer is not mutual.

And I can understand it, honestly. I'm not exactly the ideal employee in the position I was hired for. Don't get me wrong. At the time I was hired, they couldn't have been any more lucky. I had the education and skillset for the position. And more importantly, I was willing to work for peanuts and lint. It was a marriage made in IT heaven.

But since then, the company has grown and the job has evolved into some other beast that apparently I'm not well suited for. Interestingly enough, the majority of people they have hired in the last two years aren't really suited for what they are expecting out of this position any longer. I can understand that. That's cool with me.

But there are certain things that are being said and that are being done that are simply unnerving, and quite frankly borderline mean spirited and uncalled for. It's one thing to say that a specific job has evolved to the point where I may no longer fit the job description. That's fine. That's constructive. That's something I can work towards and meet. But when it's become abundantly clear that my work is not respected, not appreciated, and not welcome, fuck that. That's disrespectful. That's hurtful. And honestly, it's completely untrue.

So fuck all this. Never once in my life have I thought about just walking out on a job. Well, that's a lie. I've thought of it before, but I've never been so close to it as I was yesterday. I was literally thisclose to just walking out and throwing away the last 2 years of valuable experience out of the window, jeopardizing plenty of things that are near and dear to myself and my family.

I'm really at an impasse. I want to stick it out and make this work. I want to be able to give respect and be respected. But that's a two way street. And in the world of human resources, we are no longer considered employees. We're now "human capital".

It's disgusting.

Monday, February 20, 2006

I really think that a lot of people have stopped caring about the war in Iraq. Well, maybe it's not that they stopped caring. There's been a shift of attention from US Foreign policy to issues that are more domestic. It's weird, because I've noticed a shift in my interest in the last 5 years. Right after 9/11, most of us were swelling with patriotism. You couldn't drive a mile on the freeway without seeing an American flag waving on somebody's car. Hell, even my parents were so moved that they threw a bumper sticker on the back of their mini-van to show their support. That's how I knew something was kind of off.

But these days, the makeshift patriots that came out of the woodwork right after 9/11 don't seem to be around anymore. And interestingly enough, I think everybody's discontent with George W. Bush is the root of all this. I mean, on one hand it's hard to believe that he's as dumb as Jon Stewart and Bill Maher make him out to be. He's obviously an intelligent guy at some level to put himself in the position he's in. You won't hear me dropping "Fuck Bush" all day like it's hot.

But on the other hand, you can see the obvious signs of incompetence. From Katrina, to the numerous intelligence breakdowns, to the appointment of unqualified cronies, to being straight silly looking at sometimes, it's just really hard to trust this guy with damn near anything. I mean, would you let George W. Bush watch your child? Probably not. I wouldn't even let him watch my dog. If I had a dog. I'm not really a dog person. I grew up with cats. But now I'm allergic to cat dander. But that's neither here nor there. I wonder where the saying "neither here nor there" orginated from.

Do you know how to spell "digress"?

Anyway, I'm approaching this from a layman's perspective. I'm not really into politics, nor do claim to have any more insight into politics than any other person. But something is obviously wrong now. We have a ton of troops somewhere far away and they're begining to fade from our minds. When was the last time you flinched hearing that more troops were killed in the war? Our focus has become more domestic. But don't get it twisted. It's definitely a good thing. We really need to fix things here before we can worry about fixing things else where. Unfortunately Dubya missed that meeting and it's too late to turn back.

Now we just have to ride this out until we can focus all our attention on fixing our many glaring domestic issues. Unfortunately, the ETA on something like that is still undetermined. Until then, it is our job to stay focused on what is important. How we'll do that is up to us. We definitely won't get any help from this current administration. We'll probably just hear more about how homeland security has twarted another attack or how much closer we are to getting out of Iraq.