Tuesday, November 29, 2005

My mind goes through all kinds of different shit throughout the day. I'm constantly analyzing and reanalyzing different observations, possible scenarios, and just off-the-wall shit like whether or not the fact that my left big toenail is significantly longer than my right big toenail will affect my overall equilibrium.

You know, just complete randomness.

Before I forget, NBC's "My Name Is Earl" is easily my favorite new TV show of this fall season. Jason Lee is one of my personal favorites. Lee, as you may know already, is of Kevin Smith's "View Askewniverse" fame and was in "Mallrats", "Chasing Amy", "Dogma", and "Jay And Silent Bob Strike Back". And being that I'm a total Kevin Smith mark, I'm a big fan of Lee. With another Kevin Smith connection, Ethan Suplee, who you may remember from NBC's "Boy Meets World", who also happened to be in "Mallrats" as Willam Black and "Dogma" as the "big rubber poop monster" (aka The Golgatha Monster). Jamie Presley reprises her character seen in David Spade's "Joe Dirt", the country ass trailer park girl.

And if Jamie isn't your cup of tea, "My Name Is Earl" doesn't disappoint the eye candy enthusiasts (aka "pervs") with semi-newcomer Nadine Velazquez, who you may remember from a Maxim photospread she's done, or you may not remember from "The Bold And The Beautiful".

The show is just simply entertaining, and I think the premise is pretty damn original. Good shit. If you're an avid "House" watcher, chances are that you've never seen this show since it runs concurrently during the first half hours of "House". My wife is a big fan of "House". I've seen a few episodes. That's not a bad show either.

But yeah, enough of the shills I guess.

On last note, since I'm all out of gas.

The doctor said the Baby Countdown is down to less than 3 weeks.

This shit is nuts.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Monday, November 14, 2005

I tried to write something out for you to celebrate your life yesterday when I found out.

I couldn't find the words to articulate what I really wanted to say then.

But now, all I really want to say is "Thank you".

Sunday, November 13, 2005

A couple months ago while looking for books with my son and my wife I picked up a book from a book outlet. Now, I'm not exactly a reader. I've never had much of an attention span for recreational reading, so most of the reading I've done in the last 10 years have been strictly for educational purposes. It wasn't until I started having conversations with one of my Internet friends that I thought that I might be due time to start restimulating my mind after over almost a year of being out of school. So I picked up a couple books on subjects that I have actually become interested in these last couple of years.

The first book I have started reading is a book by Joseph L. Graves regarding the social construct that is "race" ("The Race Myth: Why We Pretend Race Exists in America ") When I first got the book, I really had a hard time getting into it. It's not that I didn't enjoy reading it. That wasn't the issue. The issue is that it's hard to set aside time to just sit down and actually read, especially if you haven't done any recreational reading for any significant amount of time. Before, my casual and recreational reading happened on the toilet. Feel me on that?

As I'm reading this book, a lot of strong assertions are made. Some subjective, and some very objective and supported by statistics. But as we've learned, statistics can be skewed and deceiving. So statistical evidence isn't exactly as concrete as we once thought. I couldn't help but step back from the situation and think how skeptical I've become throughout the years. Right now, I'm reading a book and while I'm totally digging what I'm reading, I can't help but take a lot of what I'm reading with a grain of salt, statistically supported or not. It's a pretty far step from where I was 5 or 6 years ago.

5 or 6 years ago, I could read a book or article and take it for fact. I was naive enough to believe that if it were published, it had to be legitimate. There was no need to question anything. 5 years before that, I believed pretty much anything anyone said. My teachers knew everything. There was no need for "proof". If they said it in a classroom, it had to be true. Junior high is afterall a breeding ground for ridiculous rumors and heresay. With little to nothing to refute what is being said (or assumed), anything said was believable. With such a narrow perspective on the world, it was so easy to trust them. Hell, 5 years before that, I believed everything my parents told me. What they said was fact. It was truth. I couldn't dispute it. And quite frankly, were was no reason to. I depended on them for everything. Food, shelter, comfort, etc. My parents were essentially an infomational sieve, filtering out any information they didn't want to get to me. I can't blame them. That's what parents should do. We're not ready for the truth then anyway.

Now you take that and fast forward all that in chronological order. It looks like I grown a lot through out the years. As the world unravels to us as we get older, we become more skeptical and less trusting. What I once considered true was eventually contested and reassessed, resulting in my own personal opinion on these issues and "facts". It's pretty scary, because I only have a mere 26 years of experience under my belt.

What else could be out there? At this point in my adulthood, will the world continue to unravel itself like a ball of yarn? How will my opinions change as I get older? The future is so uncertain. We like to feel like we're in control as humans. It's one of the things that keep us sane. But will what I consider true now eventually be proven false? It's disheartening sometime when you find out that something you held as truth is exposed for what it really is. But at the same time there is room for growth.

As I read through this new book, I'm adding to my bag of tricks. As certain absolutes in my life are proven either true or false, I will at least have several perspectives to take into account that will lessen the blow. Honestly, I don't mind that at all.

Monday, November 07, 2005

Two sexy bitches:

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

She always does.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Add another one to the list.

Where you at?

Dirty Laundry List

  • I not what most would consider "cool". I was never really cool, nor was I ever really popular. Sure, during my senior year of high school I was one of the most recognizable faces among people my age in my town, but as I've said before, high school superlatives are meaningless. Even in my short and fleeting stint as someone slightly "popular", I was still really awkward. I couldn't dress, I wasn't very funny, and I didn't do anything worthwhile. Wait. I'm still really awkward, I still can't dress, and I don't do anything worthwhile. Well, shit.

  • When I'm sober, I'm not really funny. Like, at all. And when I'm drunk, I'm really obnoxious and annoying to anyone not drunk. I grew up really wanting to "just be down". I was an attention whore. I made jokes when I know no one else would to emphasize my humor. When I get drunk, that part of me comes out. I come off to some as someone that is uninhibited and spontaneous. It's a facade. I'm full of shit.

  • I was never really good looking. Even when I was skinny. And when I say "when I was skinny", I really mean "when I wasn't as fat". I tried to make up for my aesthetic shortcomings by doing all the attention-whore-ish stuff mentioned above. I look at my wife and wonder what kind of mind control I used to make her stay with me.

  • I'm not as intelligent as I think I am. I know a little about a lot of things, but I don't know enough about anything to make a difference in my life.

  • Although my parents would never admit it, I know they're disappointed in how my life has turned out. I'm sure they love my son to death, there's no denying that. But I know I had the "most likely to succeed" label between of my sisters and I since I was 7 years old. Anything short of greatness was unexpected. And I've fallen short. Real short.